Dating
/ Relationships
-
by Steve Sokolowski
I run a blog where I discuss the topic of
the many games people play in the daing
arena. I've posted hundreds of articles, many of which point
out many of the troubles between men and women. Even if you
haven't read the blog, you probably are aware of some of these
schemes. While I wish it were easy to sum everything up into
one neat, overlying problem, it's not that simple. Let me point
out just a few of the issues.
For one, there's
a definite lack of respect in dating nowadays. People don't
even care about their partners enough to treat them as
they deserve to be treated. Gossip, ridiculously high expectations,
and rejections by ignorance are only some of the examples
in this area. Grandparents are always carrying on about
how today's generation has such a lack of respect. They
talk about how, in their day, people cared about others
and banded together through difficult problems. Why do
they talk about these things? Because they're right! Through
every activity in which I've been involved, I've encountered
this problem. I'm tired of working for a hundred hours
on a video project when the president of the organization
receives but doesn't bother to even reply to your E-Mails
asking him to review it. I'm sick of being ostracized from
groups because I don't care to participate in their petty
disagreements. And I'm exhausted after people expect me
to work to death in volunteer organizations!
There are always
exceptions to this rule, and I'm sure that there are many
people who do have a great deal of respect for both their
peers and their elders. Unfortunately, the majority, or
at least the majority with the most influence, simply don't
care.
Second, nobody
is honest with themselves, let alone anyone else. Dating
has turned into a torrent of backstabbing of which even
Mark Burnett would be proud. Asking someone out is nearly
impossible, because the gossip about it has already spread
to a thousand people before you make the move. Then, when
a rejection occurs (even if it's not rude), the rejector
spreads rumors around to all his/her friends that cause
them to completely ignore you, refusing to invite you to
parties or even to initiate conversations with you. The
biggest insult is that even if you asked point-blank, you'd
still never get a truthful answer as to why such harm was
directed towards you.
As if what occurs
after a rejection isn't enough, people attempt to steal
others' girl/boyfriends. One day, things are going well,
and the next you find yourself wondering what happened
to the relationship that was forming - that is, until you
notice that person spending a lot of time with who you
thought was your best friend. No explanation is offered,
not even a "good-bye."
Third, people
are not looking for someone who spends his or her time
working to get ahead instead of getting flat-out drunk,
who doesn't curse at or ignore his or her mate, and who
actually makes time for whatever is occurring between them
(whether it be a full-fledged relationship or just plain
sex). They say they're looking for these things, but in
reality, they're attracted to people with the attributes
described above. "Confidence" is not the answer
to the equation. Assuming they both possess the same level
of "confidence," the above-described person would
win every time over the "warm, caring, and intelligent" (wo)man
that people claim is the ideal mate.
The list of
problems goes on. You might be intrigued to hear that while
the problems seem innumerable, I propose they can all be
rectified with the simplest of solutions. There's no danger
involved, nobody has to lead radical changes, and it doesn't
involve an "impossible" fight against biology.
I simply propose
for men to stop asking women out.
Not for the
rest of your life, but for just a short time, say, a month.
It's not impossible, and you won't have to do it as much
after the month passes. While there are a few (rare) exceptions,
the vast majority of women don't ask out men 50% of the
time. Women do have the advantage in dating, and it's time
to level the playing field. Sure, talk with women as friends,
and if someone initiates a conversation with you, then
definitely reciprocate. However, let the woman ask you
out if she's interested, no matter how attractive she is
to you.
Some women have
never asked anyone out in their lives. It's no wonder why
these women continually treat men like they're lower beings.
If they had to put up with the rejections that most men
do all the time, I guarantee that they would have more
respect for men. Women would no longer put up with moving
from guy to guy based on who was interested in her at the
moment. And spreading gossip about potential romantic interests
certainly isn't going to help one's prospects.
People need
to realize that humans, for all their ancestry, are not
monkeys or horses or rabbits. They're humans, who can think
and act for themselves.
Men have so
much more capacity in the dating arena than constantly
looking for sex at all costs, if they would only exercise
it. It's time to stop being prisoners to so-called "biology." Women
have the same urges men do, and they should do half the
work, not 10% or 20%.
There are a
lot of "seduction communities" on the Internet
that teach men how to "seduce" women. I don't
know of any similar organization that teaches women how
to impress men with the same fervor.
There's my proposal.
I don't think it's hard to implement. Imagine if all the
men even at one corporation or university decided to ban
together. Laziness won't be a problem, because nobody even
has to do anything. It's time to change our distorted culture.
All I'm suggesting is to promote equality. Is that such
a bad thing?
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