The Easiest
Way to Break Up With Somebody
-
by Robert Torrey
Ending a relationship is never easy. When
you feel you must end a relationship most people find it
challenging as they have feelings towards their partner and
do not wish to hurt them.
More often than not, breaking up is as hard on the person
ending the relationship as it is on the person being broken
up with. Realize that a person is breaking up has nothing
to do with caring about another person. Caring about somebody
and wanting a relationship are not the same.
The majority of people on this planet do not like to hurt
others, especially somebody they have been close to. Guilt
has been used more often than not to keep relationships together.
Fight this urge and believe in yourself.! When you allow
guilt as a way to stop a break up you not only cheat yourself
out of having a good and true relationship, you’ll foster
resentment towards the other person which could lead to greater
pain and heart ache in the future. Why would you want to
be with somebody who makes you feel bad by allowing you to
feel guilty? Respect yourself!!.
A man should exit gracefully by planning the break up, to
minimize the grief caused to his partner
Don’t just ignore her hoping she will notice and go away.
You might have learned a little bit about push /pull as a
term we use in seduction. That only tends to bring somebody
in closer. Which is the exact opposite of what you want.
The "I think
you're a great girl and I don't deserve you" line will
seem ok to her at first, but later on she will
start to resent that. She could also go into how you DO deserve
her and try to convince you.
Honesty really is the best policy. Treating the relationship,
and the person, with respect and dignity helps soften the
blow.
When you break
up, Do it in person. Show some integrity and sincerity
to tell her that the relationship isn't going
anywhere. In our workshops we teach how verbal communication
is only 7% of the total communication between people. If
she also sees closed off body language it will be easier
for closure for her eventually.
Telling somebody you are breaking up in person is never
easy, but you owe it to her to break the news to her personally.
This means not on the phone, definitely not over e-mail,
but rather, face to face where she can get eye contact and
read your body language. The universal line of “ we need
to talk.” should be given in advance. This allows her to
prepare for what is coming and helps soften the blow a little
bit. Do not put too much time between the “We need to talk”
and actual breakup as the waiting time in between is very
uncomfortable if delayed long.
On doing some research on this I read a suggestion about
breaking up in the exact same place you met if possible.
This is to suggest that the relationship has completed a
circle. A place where she has a lot of happy memories might
help neutralize some of the new sad ones.
Ending a relationship gracefully means speaking our piece
without blame or judgment and not taking responsibility for
another’s feelings. It is important to make eye contact,and
give body language that is open while you are communicating
(which suggests you are VERY open to what you are saying)
than give closed off body language after finishing your piece.
To suggest you are not open to hearing anything else. Say
your words sincerely, leave no room for doubt, and never
back down- especially when she starts to cry and you feel
horrible.
Than give that
person some space usually a few months at least. Do not
try to get cozy with the person as this can
really mess with somebody’s head a lot as they will use
this as hope that you are getting back together. This is
the only way to keep pain to a minimum when ending a relationship.
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