KissMeGoodnight
eRomance Series:
Throwing a Bridal Shower
The
Bride’s Role in a Bridal Shower
Originally,
the bride’s role in the bridal shower was quite simple: according
to legend, a well to do Dutch or Danish girl who fell in love
with a poor miller’s apprentice was said to have become engaged
to the young men against the wishes of her father. In an attempt
to dissuade the couple from going through with their marriage
plans, the father made it known that he would withhold the
dowry, which was customarily used to help the young couple
to set up their own household. The legend further states that
the townspeople were so upset with the rich father, that they
decided to take it upon themselves to equip the young people
with the items they needed to being their lives together, and
therefore held a bridal shower, where they showered the bride
with gifts of household items, linens and other useful things.
Obviously, times have changed and we no longer have dowries.
Nonetheless, the tradition stuck, and we are now hosting
bridal showers for any bride to be who is ready to walk down
the isle,
notwithstanding her or her fiancé’s financial wherewithal.
Interestingly, the bride’s role in the bridal shower has not
changed that much. She is still pretty much the passive
participant while the bride’s maids and other female relatives take it
upon themselves to plan and host the shower. All the bride
really needs to do is to show up and accept the gifts! Of course,
even being the recipient of the honoring is not without rules
and regulations, and here are some tips on how to weather the
stress of an upcoming shower with grace and how to make throwing
your bridal shower a joy to your brides maids.
Allow your maid of honor access to your address book. This
sounds simple, but how often do we think of letting someone
else know whom we would like to see invited to a party? Since
the maid of honor is probably a close friend of yours, she
will know most of your friends already, but does she have their
telephone numbers? Additionally, since she probably does not
know everyone to whom you sent a wedding invitation, and since
etiquette mavens suggest that it is proper to invite all the
female guests to the bridal shower, it is important that she
has access to the guest list and your address book to make
sure nobody feels slighted. At the same time, since it is your
brides’ maids and maid of honor who will be footing the bill
for this event, do not insist on inviting everyone and anyone.
If they would prefer -and can only afford- to only invite close
friends, go along with a smile.
Stay
out of the maid of honor’s way as much as possible. Sure,
you probably have an opinion on everything from where to hold
the shower to what games to play and how to word the invite.
In one word: “don’t.” While your wedding may be the event of
your dreams come true, your bridal shower is not, and while
the hostess of the event may consult with you on your preferences,
it is not mandatory, nor should you tell her how you want it
done. This is a party that is thrown in your honor, and you
are the guest of honor – not the party planner!
As the day of the shower arrives, please be sure to make your
maid of honor’s job easy by taking an active role in mingling
with the guests, speaking to each one for a bit, and interacting
with all in a gracious manner. Yes, you will probably be nervous
and a bit harried as the big day rapidly approaches, but this
is not the time or the place to show it.
The week after the shower, be sure to sit down and write “thank
you” notes to the shower guests who came, and also mention
a sincere note of gratitude about the gifts they brought for
your. At that time it would also be of great kindness to write
some “thank you cards” to your bride’s maids and maid or honor
for throwing this party for you.
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KissMeGoodnight.com
: 2006
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