KissMeGoodnight
eRomance Series:
Throwing a Bridal Shower
The
Bounty of Bridal Showers: More Than One?
Wedding showers are a rare privilege the bride
may enjoy, and thus many a bride to be is looking forward to
the gathering of her friends and family to shower her with
presents, attention and well wishes prior to the big day itself.
The
history of bridal showers is a bit murky, but the general
consensus is that it dates back to the time of the dowry
system, when parents would dower their girls to ensure they
would have
a good start in their married life and could set up a household
with their husbands to be. The story goes that a rich man’s
daughter fell head over heels in love with a poor but honorable
miller’s apprentice. Against the wishes of the girl’s father
the two became engaged and were planning to get married with
or without his blessing. In his anger, the father sought
to apply financial pressure to the young couple by threatening
to withhold the dowry, thus essentially leaving the young
couple
to be destitute and penniless at the onset of their lives
together. The villagers who heard of this cruelty were incensed
and decided
to take matters into their own hands and ensure that the
couple would have a grand send-off and be able to have all
the items
they would need to set up their first household together.
The villagers banded together and collected all the household
essentials
the couple would require and then invited the bride to a
great gift-giving party where they showered her with these
gifts,
attention, and well wishes her father neglected to give her.
The practice stuck and became a tradition for new brides
everywhere. Even in this time of plenty where women are getting
married
at later ages when many are already well established financially
and quite possibly may have more than enough funds to set
up a household many times over, the bridal shower is an event
many do not wish to do without. As concerns any event that involves a large number of people,
there are some rules of etiquette that need to be observed
in order to make sure that nobody’s feelings are hurt, and
also to prevent the bride from being accused of greed. One
of the most often asked questions deals with the bounty of
bridal showers; can you have more than one? Generally
speaking the answer is “no” but there are some exceptions. Here are
some rules to live by:
Since it is up to your bridesmaids and maid of honor to host
the party, please be sure to supply them with your address
book, wedding guest list, and phone numbers and addresses.
This way they will be able to choose whom they will invite.
Depending on their budget, and please remember that it is the
bridal party who is footing the bill, this if they can only
afford to host for a few, the guest list will be small, you
may either encounter almost every female who is invited to
the wedding, or only a small circle of your closest friends
and family. Your mother, mother-in-law or sister is not in
charge of this event, and thus the party your brides’ maids
will hold in your honor will be the only shower you will receive.
Since a bridal shower is a “party with a purpose,” namely
the giving of gifts to the bride, it is up to you, the bride,
to ensure that not a gaggle of well-meaning friends and family
members will be hosting a bunch of them. While each of these
individuals probably wants to honor you, and your mom probably
wants to make sure that you have a couple of pizza stones and
slotted spoons, having a number of occasion on which people
are to fork over presents is in poor taste and may make your
appear greedy.
The two noted exceptions are the out-of-town shower and the
office shower. While some of the office staff is probably invited
to the actual wedding, many will quite possibly not attend
because they probably don’t know you that well. If the office
staff wants to throw you a party, this is an acceptable addition
to the bridal shower already in the works for you, since this
is more or less a work event and an opportunity to allow those
with whom you have worked side by side to have a little informal
event to express their appreciations and well wishes to you.
The other exception is the shower that will be held by out
of town friends and family who cannot attend your own bridal
shower. At times, you may not actually be at the party itself,
but the hostess will gather the presents and present them at
your wedding party.
# # # # #
KissMeGoodnight.com
: 2006
>
Home > Bridal Shower: Main Page
|