So, Are Looks Important Or Not?

Hello Doc:

So, I want to know once and for all – are looks important to women?

Thanks!

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Hello!

Ok, once and for all – the answer is: maybe.

It’s impossible to say that any rule applies to all women in every case. Some women are more visually oriented than others. To these women looks are very important – but not necessarily the ONLY thing they look for. For instance, women that are into art (paintings, sculptures, etc.) are likely to want men that look good too – but that doesn’t mean that they have to be beautiful. Well or “artfully” dressed and well groomed may be enough.

For many, many other women looks aren’t as important as other things. Of course, everyone would like to be with someone they find attractive, however, many women see an attractive personality as more important than physical looks.

How else could you explain any number of celebrity parings including:

* Julia Roberts and Lyle Lovett
* Paulina Porizkova and Rick O’Cassic
* Rachel Hunter and Rod Stewart
* Almost every woman and Gene Simons
* Demi Moore and Bruce Willis
* Courtney Cox and David Arquette

Perhaps I’m missing something here – these aren’t the best-looking guys I’ve ever seen. But, you don’t have to stop with celebrities – just look around you! There are apparent mismatched couples all over the place.

So, what’s going on here?

The fact is, women aren’t as interested in men’s looks as in other things about men. In fact, I’ve had many women tell me that they guys they date get better looking as they get to know them.

Does this apply to anyone?

Sadly no. If you are well below average in looks or even malformed, you may have more difficulty attracting very beautiful women. This is something that is programmed into us by nature. We are designed to avoid those that look unhealthy as a way to prevent passing on bad genes to future generations.

However, for about 98% of the population (or more) this isn’t an issue. Even if you’re in that 2%, there are other options including plastic surgery. I’m not suggesting that you rush out and change your looks, but there are a number of things you can do that will help.

How to Improve Your Look

Here are a few tips that will help your visual appeal:

Grooming

This is one of the most common complaints among women – that men don’t groom themselves properly. This is ridiculous when it’s so easy! Here’s what to look for:

Ø Wash yourself!

The human body smells. If you don’t wash it regularly, YOU smell. Take a bath or shower regularly.

Ø Hair

Don’t let your hair get away from you. Keep it neat even if it is long.

Ø Nails

Keep your nails trimmed and CLEAN!

Ø Teeth

Brush your teeth everyday, and don’t forget your tongue. If your breath smells (like your palm and smell it to find out), go to a dentist and have a check-up.

Ø Other

As you get older, you’re going to get hair growing in the oddest places – on your back, in your ears, in your nose, etc. Get these trimmed and in check. Also, don’t forget to trim your eyebrows and mustache!

Your grooming shows your self-image to people outside. You’ll get some huge points by taking care of yourself even if other things aren’t in check. Don’t do this, and you’ll lose points with just about every women you meet.

Look Healthy

We are pre-programmed to be attracted to people that look healthy. This is nature’s way of helping our species survive. Your complexion, weight, teeth, breath, etc., all say things about your health. By taking care of your heath, not only will you survive to be chased out a window by a jealous husband, you’ll actually out-run him.

Fashion & Style

You don’t have to be a model to dress well. Dressing well is really a two-fold issue:

1) Basic Dress

By this I mean having a “basic wardrobe” that includes a conservative suit, a nice tie, white shirt, and black shoes. You’re going to need these elements and they don’t have to cost an arm and a leg. But they MUST be tailored properly. Don’t just buy a suit off the rack and assume it fits right. If it does, fine, if not, get it professionally tailored.

Other items you should have in your basic wardrobe include:

* Black dress slacks (properly fitting)
* Casual dress shirt with some color
* Black “no logo” t-shirt
* Black socks (no holes!)
* Black belt
* Black shoes (not sneakers – well polished)

2) Style Dress

Along with the basic wardrobe, you need to have some fashion dress items. This is mostly about color, and unless you’re a gang member, forget the baggy jeans and shirts.

Here are some other items you should consider:

* Dark turtleneck sweater (black or gray)
* “Club” shirt – something cool and with style, but not too much color
* Dress sandals (black leather)
* Nice coat (no ski parkas)
* Couple of cool ties
* Blazer

One last point about these items – try to stick with the basics: black, navy blue and gray – stay away from other colors UNLESS you have a woman help you pick them out AND MATCH THEM FOR YOU!!! I can’t stress this point enough. I’m colorblind and I can still tell when someone looks ridiculous.

Here’s one last point: let women help you choose a style, but reserve “veto power”. Most women know fashion and style, and after all, you’re trying to impress them – why not let them help you?

Work on getting your basic wardrobe together first, then adding your style wardrobe next.

Looking good doesn’t have to cost you a huge amount. Just be sure that you don’t look cheap. These simple things will do more for your “look” than anything nature did!

Best regards...

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Have a love, relationship, sex or man/woman question? I answer all email. You can write to me at dwneder@beingman.com for answers. For more information about my books, "Being a Man in a Woman's World" (volume I & II), and other products visit: www.beingaman.com. Check out the discussion group at: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/beingaman.

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