Grow Up and Be A Man!

Hi Doc,

My problem is this: There aren’t many girls that can make me feel love. When I kiss a woman, I do it with passion. But it has to be a special girl that makes me feel love; that sensation you feel like that the whole world is beautiful. But I am extremely shy and introverted.

There were three girls in my whole life (23 years) that made me feel love. I screwed it up with all three of them. With the first, I made anonymous calls but she never knew who I was, though I think she suspected. I never saw her again. With the second, sent her an anonymous letter of love and then made anonymous calls at first, and then non-anonymous calls, although she never met me in real life.

With the third one, I also called her anonymously. She was a hi-school mate from my sister. I love her very much, and things may be different, but she has a boyfriend. Eight years ago, when I did the call, she was alone, she was in depression cause she thought she would be alone; she has low self-esteem but she is a fiery, wild and very cute woman.

How can I approach her? Do you think I have a chance? My sister must not know anything about it, until I have at least had a date with her. How would a REAL MAN act?

This is my last chance! There's no one out there that can move my ground like she does. PLEASE HELP ME! I am desperately alone. It's been 6 long years without even kissing a girl, and for a 23-year-old man that's the hell of despair.

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Hello!

Frankly, there aren't that many people in the world that makes ANY of us feel love! This is not unusual at all. Many men mistakenly believe that feeling horny or being attracted to someone – even emphatically – means that they are feeling love. Love is a completely different thing. I don't really think you're in love, but that really isn't the point here - read on.

Ok, so what do you do to be a man? The very first thing you need to do is to start ACTING like a man! What's with all this anonymous calling? That's the sign of a scared little boy, not a man. Believe me, these women want to date men.

You've let yourself fall into this trap of being afraid. There is nothing wrong with the anxiety of first approaching a woman - most men go through this. However, if you let it rule your dating life, you're just going to be stuck in "little boy land" and will be lonely the rest of your life. So, first, stop doing this. Decide right now, once and for all that this is in the past for you. From now on, every time you decide you're interested in a woman, you're going to act on it in a positive and healthy way - no excuses, no exceptions! Don't give in to fear - JUST DO IT!

Here's what men do when they find someone that they are interested in:

They say "hello", in person and directly. They don't cower behind a telephone or SMS. They don't worry about what anyone else will think - not even the woman they're approaching. They take the attitude that if she can't see all the benefits of going out with him, then it's HER problem and HER loss - not his! HE is the prize, and women are like buses - there's always another one coming in 5 minutes!

So, how do you approach this woman? Simple - you just walk up to her, chest out, head up, calm and confident and look her right in the eye. Then you say, "You know, you seem like a very nice woman and I'd like to get to know you better. Let's have a drink this coming Saturday night. I'll pick you up at 8:00 that evening."

I know exactly what you're thinking. You're thinking that this is too direct, too bold, and doesn't have enough "game" to it. My brother, that is EXACTLY what women keep telling me they want! If you do this, you're only giving her what she wants - that's a good thing!

So, what if she turns you down? SO WHAT? That's HER problem - not yours. On the other hand, you'll have broken the ice, you'll have gotten another approach under your belt (this is a numbers game!), and you'll be ready to find a new woman. To hell with what your sister or anyone else thinks! That too is their problem - not yours!

Probably the best information on how to act, think and BE a man is contained in my book, "Being a Man in a Woman's World". I strongly suggest that you pick up a copy. It will give you a great boost toward your next relationship!

Best regards...

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Have a love, relationship, sex or man/woman question? I answer all email. You can write to me at dwneder@beingman.com for answers. For more information about my books, "Being a Man in a Woman's World" (volume I & II), and other products visit: www.beingaman.com. Check out the discussion group at: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/beingaman.

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