Mr. Nice Guy

Dear Dr. Neder,

I'm sure you've heard this scenario hundreds of times, but I thought I'd ask anyway, in hopes for some serious help.

I am the type of person that's all about hanging out with my friends and having a good time. I have never really been the type of guy that sees a beautiful girl and just approaches her. I am just myself and if some kind of spark is ignited with a girl, then so be it, then I will pursue her. Well, that doesn't happen often, but when it does, I freeze up. If I'm out with one of my female friends just to see a movie or whatever, then I am the life of the party. I am good at making a girl laugh, if I may say so myself. But when I'm out on what could be considered a date, I don't know what to do. Even if I am going out on a "date" with a friend that I've known for a while, as is the case now, I am just a completely different person.

Could this be a lack of confidence or is it something else? Please! I need your help!

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Hello!

All I had to do was see your subject line "Mr. Nice Guy" and I already know what your problem is, and yes, I see this all the time.

Let's get down to brass tacks here - you're a pussy. You're a guy that wants women to do all the work for you so that you don't have to put yourself out there to fail. What relationships you've had have been with women that have pursued you. So, you've simply had to take what you were given, rather than going after what you really wanted. Even now, you are with "female friends" as you've said, but you and I know exactly why they are "friends". You're hoping that one of them will somehow fall in love with you and will again do all the work for you.

Here's the bright lining in all of this: there's hope for you!

If you're serious about wanting to meet, date and establish relationships with really great women, you need to get in touch with your inner asshole. Stop being "Mr. Nice Guy" and start being "Mr. Shark", "Mr. Ain't Got Time" and "Mr. Forgot Our Date" and start getting things worked out here!

Indeed, this is a lack of confidence, but it's so much more too. More than confidence, you lack an understanding of how the female mind works. You've been brainwashed by a society that has become rabidly feminine, and you're trying to be the "nice guy" in it. Instead, you’re just getting eaten up.

I recommend we start by getting your education about women fixed. Go read "Being a Man in a Woman's World I & II" and get some new 'tude. Then, we can start rebuilding your skill set from the ground up. The bottom line here is that your current motif isn’t working for you any more than it does for anyone else.

Best regards...

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Have a love, relationship, sex or man/woman question? I answer all email. You can write to me at dwneder@beingman.com for answers. For more information about my books, "Being a Man in a Woman's World" (volume I & II), and other products visit: www.beingaman.com. Check out the discussion group at: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/beingaman.

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