Trying To Buy Her Affection

I gave my college professor two bouquets of flowers. One of them was given to her in 2001, and her response was giving a thank you card and telling how much she appreciated the gift which I might add was $127 and believe it or not, I did not see her again until 2002 where she seemed really pleased to see me and thanked me again for the gift I gave her back in 2001.

She also made the comment that some flowers only last for a couple of hours those flowers you gave me lasted for days and they where still fresh. Obviously she understood that they were not cheap flowers. Subsequently I came back to see her a second time in the same year and she was acting funny; kind of like she was not glad to see me.

Where I made my mistake was I gave her another bouquet in May of that year just like I did previously and she basically acted like she could care less she was condescending and rude to me. Where she really hurt me was she offered to give me something in return for the gift and I was hesitant to except it but I sort of did and she did not give me anything.

What do you think I should do about this injustice and also do you think she was giving out mixed message?

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Hello!

Here's what I think you should do.

Go to the bathroom and get a towel ready. Look into the mirror and make a fist. Next, abruptly and repeatedly apply fist to nose until the blood makes a bright crimson necktie. Next take the towel and hold it to your free-flowing nose until you can get to the kitchen, get some ice and apply it to your swollen face. Then, never, NEVER make this stupid mistake again!

What do I think you should do about this "injustice"? I can only hope you learn from it. In fact, not only did you CAUSE the injustice in the first place - you performed it!

My brother, this is the highest, most dastardly of the "deadly dating sins"! You tried to buy your way into teacher's pants! If you get nothing else out of DatingInsiderNews, I want to make SURE you get this lesson: THIS NEVER WORKS!!! It just proves to you, and everyone else that hears this story that you are totally clueless with regards to dating.

You spent all that money hoping that she would be all gushy and want to have your children, AND that she would do all your work for you. Stop being a jackass! Why would you spend this money and have nothing to show for it? Here's why:

When you're interested in a woman, buying her a gift makes her think that you don't know what you're doing, (you don't by the way). She knows it’s your job to "close"; that is, to ask her for her number, a date, etc. Buying a woman gifts - even when you first start seeing them is grounds for instance dismissal as yet another stupid, clingy, over-enthusiastic, horney jerk.

If you want to stand out from the crowd in a woman's mind, DON'T buy her gifts. Instead, just tell her what you want! Be confident, direct, and don't beat around the bush. Have some pride and belief in yourself and don't stoop to thinking that you can buy her obligation.

Here's the interesting thing about this story - as bad as it was, it actually almost worked! It seems that she was willing to overlook your lack of game and even to give you a second chance (no matter how small). All she wanted was for you to be the man and ASK HER OUT. Instead of taking that opportunity however, you walked away hoping that she would ask you or something. That is NOT how the game is played - it's YOUR JOB to ask HER.

Then, when you gave her the second bunch of flowers, she knew that you were just clueless, and that any type of relationship with you would mean that she would have to be both the woman AND the man because you didn't know how to be him. Believe me, no matter how interested a woman is in any particular man; she does NOT want to have to work that hard. That's why she became annoyed with you. It's not her job to educate you either, (that's my job - see "Being a Man in a Woman's World"), and it's why she didn't explain these things to you. So, now you've lost her for good, but you've gained an important education, (I hope!)

Next time, here's what I want you to do when you find a woman you're interested in: go up to her and say, "hi", having first decided what you might have in common. Simply comment on that point and see if you can establish connection. Next, ask her for her name, but don't give yours first. If she asks for your name, she's telling you that she's somewhat interested and you can proceed. Finally, CLOSE THE DEAL by asking her for her phone number, so you can call her later to have a drink or some coffee.

Believe me, it really IS that easy! Further, if you follow these simple steps, you're going to avoid all the pain and embarrassment of writing to me again with more clueless activity; only to have me find some other, even worse punishment for the transgression.

Best regards...

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