From "Jerk" to "Prepared"

Doc, I have a problem.

I hardly run across good gals that I would like to date, and I guess it's low self-esteem on my part, but I end up either ignoring them or being rude just for attention. Sometimes, being rude at works, but it hasn't in the longest time, and I feel there's something wrong with me now. I now know they don't like it, but I need new strategies to keep them entertained and wanting more of me.

I can never seem to build up the balls to talk to them for two reasons: What they might think of me in looks or personality and/or what I might say which could be wrong?

I'm not asking you to fix my problem, but if you know of any ideas I can use to get past all of this, that would be great!

Thanks!

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Hello!

I fully understand your situation. In fact, it is common!

Here's the real issue: You don't see a ton of gorgeous women all over the place, so they aren't around when you're "on the hunt". Then, when you DO see them, you're not ready to approach them because you haven't prepared.

Being a jerk will work with some women if you know how to use it. If you're simply a jerk because you're not prepared, you come off as more of an asshole than just cocky. Believe me, all men face this situation. So, here's a different plan: Instead, simply make yourself ready when an opportunity presents itself, and never let one pass without doing something about it!

How many times have you (or any guy) seen a beautiful girl, only to let her walk right past without saying a single word? Then, later, you kick yourself for not having said something. Let's face it, not EVERY situation is one where you should approach. But, many are! They key is just to be ready - to always have your game in your back pocket.

That's why I wrote, "Being a Man in a Woman's World". It gives you a ton of "philosophy", exercises, and tools to help you get prepared for that meeting you're not expecting. But, you have to know when to approach, and be willing to let someone walk away if things aren't right. Note that I didn't say "...if things aren't PERFECT." My brother, things are NEVER perfect.

So, here's what you need to get started:

1) Get out there. That is, your next love affair isn't sitting in your own living room. Get off your ass and go do some fun things! This is how you'll start meeting women.

2) Make sure she's approachable. Again, this doesn't mean the "perfect" situation. It means simply that she's approachable. If she's at the market with her hair in curlers and wearing ratty sweats, she isn't going to feel approachable. On the other hand, if you make eye contact, get a smile, etc., go for it!

3) Have your game ready. Get yourself educated and have some tools to work with. Don't try to get into the game without some game!

4) Do a quick mental preparation before approaching. This is true even if you're just going to say, "Hi!" Have some plan in.

5) Close, close, CLOSE!!! Always, always close the deal! Get that home phone number. Ask her to have coffee or whatever - even if you fail, you will have done a lot to insure that you're always on your game. We call this "practice".

You'll be surprised by how much more confidence you have if you take these steps seriously. You won't be afraid to approach women because you'll have something to work with. It's something like public speaking. If you don't know the subject really well, you're going to be very nervous. If you DO know it well, you may still be nervous, but you're not worried because you know exactly what you're talking about.

Lastly, don't be ashamed to let her go if things don't work out. If you put these tips into practice, you're going to be ready whenever she DOES come along.

Best regards...

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