Control Premature Ejaculation

Hello Doc.

I need your help solving my problem with premature ejaculation. I was masturbating before my marriage for around 5 years, and this has affected me in my marriage and my sex life. I don't last more than 5 minutes, and around 20-25 strokes.

I appreciate your help!

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Hello!

I think there's something wrong with your math here. If it only takes you 20-25 strokes over 5 minutes, that's 1 stroke every 15 seconds!

If you are really able to last 5 minutes with a partner, that's actually pretty good, and you can expand that upward pretty easily. If instead, it only takes 20-25 thrusts, you have some work to do.

First, I'm assuming that you are uncircumcised as this will cause the head of your penis to be much more sensitive than a man's that is circumcised. By being circumcised, the head of your penis will eventually become desensitized rubbing against your pants, from masturbation, etc. Understand however that I'm not recommending that you get circumcised if you're not - I'm only making a point.

One of the only problems with masturbation is that you are actually practicing premature ejaculation! After all, how often to you "practice" holding back? Probably never. That's the point of masturbation - to get to the climax as quickly as possible. Thus, the first thing you should try is to spend the next few months "practicing" holding back. You can do this by changing what you think about when you're jerking off. For example, practice thinking about cars, sports, or even Hillary Clinton naked. Any of these should take your mind off of climaxing! When you feel it coming up, practice holding back and actually stopping just before, let it subside and start again.

Another technique (called the "squeeze technique") involves squeezing your penis at the base in order to force some blood out of it, (which is how you get hard in the first place). This is essentially "cancel" your climax, allowing you to continue on. Of course, you have to learn to recognize the point of climax, and masturbating and stopping just before will help here.

Another thing you can do is to always wear one or more condoms. This also helps to desensitize you and will stave off your climax for longer periods of time. In fact, wearing one - or even two condoms isn't just a good idea to deal with premature ejaculation, it's a good idea to prevent sexually transmitted diseases AND babies!

Yet another option is to use a "desensitizing lotion" that you put on the head of your penis before inserting. This will actually numb you somewhat and will allow you to go for much longer.

The bottom line of all of this is that you can learn to go much longer - almost as long as you want, if you practice by yourself, practice safe sex, and use other tools that are out there for you.

Best regards...

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Have a love, relationship, sex or man/woman question? I answer all email. You can write to me at dwneder@beingman.com for answers. For more information about my books, "Being a Man in a Woman's World" (volume I & II), and other products visit: www.beingaman.com. Check out the discussion group at: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/beingaman.

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