Online dating tips and relationship advice from Dr. Neder...
Approaching
a Girl
Hi Dr. Neder,
I'm trying to approach and meet a girl I see frequently on
the way to work in the morning at the train station. What is
the best approach and what do I say at first to get her trust
and interest?
Please let me know what you think.
--------------- Hello!
The "best" approach
is one that has context. Context is simply what you and she
have in common
at that very moment
at the place you meet.
Obviously, you both take the train and something about that
mode of travel might be something you can use for a context
approach. Where she gets off, or on the train might be something
you can use. The fact that you live in the same or near-by
cities can be context for an approach.
If all
else fails you can even use some cocky humor as an approach.
For instance, you might walk up to
her and say, "Ok,
I see you on this train every day. Are you stalking me or something?" This
will get her laughing.
The point of the ice breaker isn't to make you sound like
a suave, clever guy. In fact, in any approach, you want to
take advantage of the fact that women *love* to talk and the
vast majority of the (short) conversation should be from her!
Trust me on this one: the more she talks, the better a conversationalist
you'll come off as!
You don't even need context to approach someone. It just helps
to make it easier. I once approached a girl I found in a park
with this:
I walked
up to her and said, "Hey, you know what? You
kinda remind me of the person that killed my parents." Her
eye got really big as she stared and me and said, "Whaaaa???" I
then said, "I'm only kidding. Actually, I killed my parents." Then
without even blinking an eye I sat down next to her and started
a conversation, got her number and started dating her.
Remember Al, you're not trying to build trust or interest.
In fact, these goals will work against you. You need to believe
that you are the greatest guy she's going to meet this year
and simply act like it. The interest and trust will come of
her own volition.
Now, go meet her already and get her digits!!!
Best regards...
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