Online dating tips and relationship advice from Dr. Neder...
My Neighbor's Hot -
And She Knows It!
Hey Doc:
I've had a few girlfriends in the past and have no problems
with experience. I don't think I'm God's gift to women, but
I'm not particularly ugly either.
I've fallen for a neighbor girl. I'm not shy to talk to her,
but she's just perfect. She's a very nice person, but thinks
quite a lot of herself (which makes me all the more attracted
to her!)
Do you have some kind of technique or form of body language
I could use or a conversation that I could bring up? I'm not
shy so ill try anything!
Thanks in anticipation.
------------------------------------ Hello!
I've got
the perfect technique for the perfect situation here. As
you said, she "...thinks quite a lot of herself..." That's
really a ripe, ideal ground for taking that away a little!
Here's
how this works: by "busting" and "challenging" her,
you instantly change the relative position between you and
she. In effect, you "raise your stock" in her eyes.
In order to do this, you need to treat her like your bratty
little sister rather than someone that you're interested in.
By giving her attention, you simply play into that belief about
herself. Worse, you become just like every other guy that's
interested in her.
When you bust her on the other hand, you in effect tell her
that she has to work for your attention - that you're not going
to just give it to her for free - and you instantly become
someone she has to know, because, well, you're not like every
other guy!
Do you see how this works?
By acting cocky and treating her like she's not really that
interesting to you you're going to become irresistible to her.
In order to do this, just imagine how you'd treat your little
sister that always wants to hang around you. You'd be teasing
her - and you'd mean it. Of course, you wouldn't be down-right
mean to her, but you wouldn't be very warm and cuddly either!
This is the balance you want to strike.
For example,
if you see her next door, you can say to her, "Are
you spying on me or something?" or "You're not going
to become one of those nutty busy-body neighbors like you hear
about on the news, are you?"
The trick here is to NOT laugh or make it a joke! Act like
you really mean it, but leave the question open. Do you or
don't you?
If you pull this off just right, you're going to have her
eating out of your hands.
One last
point: You can't do this without giving her an "in".
That is, she has to be able to win your attention at some point.
She'll slowly start ramping up her attempts to get you to be
more than just her neighbor. Resist the temptation to just
jump right in however. Give in just a little - and then take
it away again.
You can
say something like, "Ok, you're obviously looking
for attention, but I'm busy right now. Let's go out on Saturday,
but I'll call you if I can't." Don't call to confirm however
- just assume that she's waiting for you on Saturday, but it's
good to keep her guessing until the last minute.
Best regards...
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