Online dating tips and relationship advice from Dr. Neder...
First
Email Contact
Dear Dennis,
I'd like to begin by saying how much I have enjoyed reading
your comments and responses to the letters. I will buy your
book and use it to help my transition back into the dating
world after a 14-year break.
My question/situation is this:
I have been apart from my ex-wife for one year now. I have
been dating for the last 6 months and enjoying the experience
of putting myself back out in this world. Two weeks ago, I
met a wonderful woman via email. Our mothers know each other
and we both know many of the same people in our hometown. She
is recently divorced and for about the same time as me. We
have made a very obvious and strong connection through daily
email and phone contact. We have decided to meet in about 10
days when I will be flying out for the weekend.
I am really looking forward to meeting her and seeing if our
connection works as well in person as it does via email. I
believe she could be someone that I would want to spend a lot
of time with. She meets my goals for the type of woman I want
to be with and believe that we wouldn't be a good fit.
So, how much do I give away at the first meeting?
Should I play this thing cool, or can I be honest with regards
to my feelings and let her know what is happening with me?
Should I give her a nice kiss (soft, gentle, no tongue) when
I meet her at the airport? I believe the feelings are mutual,
but I don't want to rush anything and ruin what could be a
very good thing.
Best Regards.
----------------------------------------- Hello!
Obviously, I strongly
urge you to read, "Being a Man
in a Woman's World".
Not having been
in the dating scene for a while, I'll bet you'll find it's
a real eye-opener. You're
going to get a ton of things
that will help you with this new relationship including learning
communication skills, (something I'm sure is lacking due
to being fresh out of a marriage), building a "relationship
plan", dealing with relationship problems and much, much
more. I'm very pleased for you to be moving ahead, but let me offer
this: be careful with what you give away up front. Despite
the issues of the connection you feel, keep in mind, she's
still a woman and has all the hopes and expectations of any
woman of any man. She wants you to be a strong, directed male
figure even if you've been rather emotional and forthcoming
over the phone and via email.
I also strongly urge you to use
the "opening kiss" at
the airport. There are many reasons why this will work to your
advantage. Here's an article that discusses this in much greater
depth:
http://www.beingaman.com/the_opening_kiss.htm
Also, don't see this as "rushing". There is no "rushing" involved
here. What you're really doing is staking your territory as
the dominant male!
One last thing is appropriate here; if you've been reading
my articles you know how I feel about long distance relationships.
I hope you have a plan to bring her into town (or to move)
if things work out because LDR's are rarely successful!
Enjoy the book!
Best regards...
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Have a love, relationship,
sex or man/woman question? I answer all email. You can write
to me at dwneder@beingman.com
for answers. For more information about my books, "Being
a Man in a Woman's World" (volume I & II), and other
products visit: www.beingaman.com.
Check out the discussion group at: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/beingaman.
Copyright (c) 2004-2011, Dr. Dennis W. Neder
All rights reserved.
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