It's a Game - A Man's Game

Hey Doc:

First I'd like to mention that this site is great! Straight and to the point, and no ads!

I'm a 22-year-old male; I've been single for a little over 3 months now from a 3-year relationship and first "intense" or real experience with a woman. I'm quite happy and comfortable with my new freedom but hope to eventually find someone interesting.

My problem is basically that I'm not the type of guy who goes the distance to meet women. I bartend on weekends and see/communicate with many interesting people but lack the confidence to actually ignite anything serious. Friends of mine usually break the ice for me. I am certainly not shy in general; most female friends of mine say I'm funny, smart, sexy, easy-going and very cool.

I guess I'm simply afraid of rejection. I suppose I become shy and retract quickly when I feel real potential, as if I don't want to spoil a good thing. The initial stage scares me because it is such a crucial one. Some of my friends say I intimidate women before they get to know me but most of the girls I've dated in the past have usually perused me and made the leap out of impatience. I know what I want; yet I need the security of being chased to avoid being gutsy. I don't like girls who play games; being 22 unfortunately exposes me to the type of women who don't care for being friends as well as lovers. How can I improve and/or have a personal technique, which would enable me to easily breakthrough the initial stages?

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Hello!

Thanks for your comments on the site! While we have to do SOME marketing to pay for the site, in fact, 100% of it, and the discussion group (http://groups.yahoo.com/group/beingaman) are absolutely free! We are dedicated to building a better man!

Your question is actually quite common! Let's face it, who wants to get rejected? But, you really have only a few choices here, since it's the guy's job to do the approaching! Unfair, but who ever said life was fair?

So, what you need to do is to start working your odds in a way that improve them. Here's how:

1) Get educated.

Sorry for the sales pitch, but you really should read, "Being a Man in a Woman's World". Consider this: the more knowledge you have about women, the better your odds are going to be. Remember, women are relationship experts - men are not. Women spend their entire lives studying this stuff; men spend very little if any. Further women are intolerant of men without game. So, key #1 is to get yourself educated.

2) Work the odds.

Most men make the mistake of selecting a single target and "working" her. That's a very poor choice! What if she doesn't work out? Then you're left with nothing. Instead, you should constantly be "rolling" 3, 4 or even 5 women at a time! You have a significant advantage here because of your job. You get to talk to women all the time! Use the advantages you have to improve your own odds.

3) You've got to ask for what you want.

If you don't ask, you're not going to get anywhere. Learn, practice, and always ask for the home number. In fact, when I finally figured this out years ago, I began asking every woman I met for her home phone number! I'd even pull up to a light, see a cute girl, motion for her to roll down her window and then ask for her number! You'd be surprised how often I got it! Even now, on occasion while I'm stuck here in Los Angeles traffic, I'll see a cutie next to me, and get her cell number! Then, I call her while we're both stuck and work her!

You see my brother; this is just a game - and a fun game at that! You're not going to get ever number you ask for, nor are you going to get a date with every woman you call. You're not even going to sleep with every woman you date. However, if you do something - anything, your odds are going to be much better than if you do nothing.

Best regards...

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Have a love, relationship, sex or man/woman question? I answer all email. You can write to me at dwneder@beingman.com for answers. For more information about my books, "Being a Man in a Woman's World" (volume I & II), and other products visit: www.beingaman.com. Check out the discussion group at: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/beingaman.

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