Online dating tips and relationship advice from Dr. Neder...
Stop The
Madness!
Doc:
I dated this lady on and off for ten years because of relationships
she had throughout our relationship. I was married and in law
school when I met her and she was going through a divorce but
because I enjoyed her company I spent a lot of time with her.
I was seen in public quite often with her and basically I fell
in love with her and lost my marriage. We would find time to
spend together and it seemed as though we were happy with each
other. Throughout the relationship I tried to do whatever I
could for her but it was never enough. I tried to show my devotion
and loyalty to her. I also bought diamonds, watches, furs,
vacations, I helped her start her own business things that
none of her other male friends ever did for her. It never seemed
as though she appreciated anything that I did for her. She
was even about to marry someone else but when that did not
work out she came right back to me and I accepted her back.
She also has the belief that a man is supposed to take care
of her financially and she does not have to do anything for
him and I love her enough to give her everything I have. All
that I ask is that she shows me that she cares about me.
If I ask her over she never has time, when she goes out of
town she goes with her girlfriends, but if she needs or wants
something from me she will call me every morning and 3-4 times
during the day. She is now self-employed but she is also in
financial trouble because of the jobs that she had she lost
due to her attitude. I know she has other resources (older
guys and ex friends) that she received money from in addition
to me. She tells people that she just wants to be my friend
but anytime she needs me or something happens she calls or
she asks me for money and when I want her to do something for
me that's when the problem starts she doesn't have time.
I recently proposed to her and she said no. Someone told me
that she told people I proposed to her and that she had to
get rid of me. Now I don't call her she doesn't call me and
it seems that she hates me but I can't understand why when
all I've tried to do was love and receive love in return. She
has told me to just go on with my life that we are from two
different worlds but when I took a date to a banquet she told
me she would never forgive me, and when I allowed a friend
to spend a week with me and she called my home and my friend
answered the phone she was very upset. I never stopped hearing
about that incident, but if I say anything to her about her
relationships I'm throwing it up in her face!
It's crazy but I miss talking to her but everyone tells me
to leave her alone that she is a user, gold-digger, etc, but
that's easier said than done.
HELP!!!!
---------------------------------- Hello!
I have another word for this woman: "prostitute".
What else do you call a woman that "sells" herself
emotionally, physically and as a friend for money?
I wonder if you'd do me a favor - would you send me $5,000
- I'll be your friend too. I'll call you if and when I feel
like it, I'll answer your email (this one's free however),
but I sure as hell won't sleep with you or do anything that
isn't convenient, or something that I wanted to do in the first
place. Ok?
Sounds ridiculous, doesn't it? That's exactly what your situation
is - ridiculous. You've tried buying your way into this woman's
heart and pants, and she's just become tired of it - after
you got raped!
Where in the hell did you ever get the idea that this could
ever work? You've been completely used and taken advantage
of. I see it, your friends see it, this bitch KNOWS it - everyone
sees it but you! Is there any wonder that she has absolutely
no respect for you, and mistreats you?
Women DO NOT want to be with a guy that they can walk all
over, and that keeps coming back for more. There's even a bunch
of science behind this that I won't bore you with. Suffice
it to say that until you get your self-respect built up, and
stop trying to buy women, you're always going to be right in
the situation you are now. If not with this woman, with someone
else!
My brother, stop being a jackass right now!
Here's what I want you to do: first, change your telephone
numbers, and ONLY give it out to your close TRUSTED friends,
(these are the ones that don't accept money or favors from
you to stay around). I want to you stop calling, talking to,
seeing, thinking about, or in any way having anything to do
with this using whore, or her friends, family, business associates,
or anyone else she has any contact with.
You are going to have to go on a bitch-diet right here, right
now. Don't try to wean yourself off of her - go cold turkey.
No more of this abuse! No excuses! Get your head on straight
and start seeing this for what it is - a very, very painful,
very self-inflicted lesson.
I'm sure you're a nice guy but
being that nice guy is what got you into this mess in the
first place.
Do yourself a favor
and get a copy of "Being a Man in a Woman's World" and
start changing your perspective. As soon as you do, you're
going to see quality women, with respect (both for you and
themselves), being interested in you, and this user will be
a long-forgotten memory.
You deserve much, much better than this!
Best regards...
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for answers. For more information about my books, "Being
a Man in a Woman's World" (volume I & II), and other
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Copyright (c) 2004-2011, Dr. Dennis W. Neder
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