Dealing With The "Game Buster"

I have a situation I'd like you to help me understand.

I was at a local café with some friends and a girl asked if she could join us. Of course, everyone agreed. After awhile, this guy that isn't part of group, (although he thinks he is), believes he can win girls by trying to make everyone feel like losers and building his own ego. Somehow, he thinks every other guy is his competition and he will try to screw your game if he can!

This guy is the most annoying and stupid chump I ever seen of my own life! He literally tried to steal my friend's girlfriend in front of him! He kept telling her how great looking she was and how great a "female specimen" she was, etc. Then, he started begging her for her email saying, "Can I have your email please, please, please?? Here's mine - you can abuse it if you want by sending pictures of yourself!"

The worst part is that he is totally serious! Earlier that same day, he tried to pick up a cute woman that turned me down, (she's part of our group of friends), with the same stupid gimmick. He never really engages in conversation with anyone since he doesn't know how to do this. He only talks about things of interest to him.

Back to the girl that joined us:

I begin a conversation with her. We started talking about her vacation, and she got really excited and began telling everything she did. Suddenly, Mr. big time loser came in!

I should have known better than let him jump into our conversation but I thought it would be rude to try to keep him out. I didn't think he'd try that lame pick up thing he does on other girls since she was clearly talking to me. My bad!

I was just about to ask for her phone number when he jumped right into the middle of the conversation saying, "Sorry great looking Queen of my dreams, but I want your email because I think you might want to be my girlfriend. I think I'm falling in love you. Give me your email please!!! I beg you!!!!"

Well, she gave him her email address just to get rid of him. Then she turned to me to continue our conversation, and I assumed the problem was over. He looked like an ass and he wasn't even a challenge for her anymore. All of a sudden, he interrupts her and says to me, "I see, you are some kind of player with no respect for young ladies!"

To make a long story short, he just wouldn't leave us alone, and stayed with us until everyone else left. I finally told him that even though he doesn't seem to get it, no one wants to hang around with him and we find him annoying. We've all tried to be polite to him and to give him a chance. I then told July that I had a nice talk with her - as much as we could - and that I would see her around. I left her with him since I couldn't stand him anymore.

What do you make of all of this?

-----------------------------------------------------

Hello Brother!

In my new book, I have an entire chapter devoted to handling the "game buster", and by the way: women can be game busters too! Let's look at how to handle this particular situation:

You and your close group of friends should have an "understanding" when it comes to women. If these guys aren't working WITH you, (and you with them), they're working AGAINST you. All this means that you guys need to have a strategy to deal with each other. For instance, when I'm out with my buddies, and one of them chooses a target, I ask him, "Are you going to approach her alone?" If he says, "yes", I leave him - and her - alone. Otherwise, I'll try to find a way to help him.

One example is to let him make the approach. Then, about 5 minutes later walk up and say, (to my friend), "Hey brother! What's going on?" He'll usually introduce me to her, and I'll say something to her like, "This is a great one - don't let him get away without your number!" Then, I turn and get the hell out of there!

When you have this kind of shithead in your perimeter-group, (hanging around, but not part of your group of friends), realize that he is just trying to get in on your game. So, handle it up front - don't wait for it to happen. There are at least two ways to handle this: One is to turn to your target and say, "See that guy over there? He follows my friends and me everywhere, but we can't seem to get rid of him - he's a total jackass! Just wait, he'll probably come over here and you'll see what I'm talking about." Then, change the subject. Then when he comes up and says something stupid, you can just roll your eyes.

The second method is to wait for him to come up to you and your target. Since you know he's going to try to bust your game, just expose him first. When he comes up, just turn to your target and say, "Get ready - he's going to beg for your number or email address, so if you decide to give it to him, you're on your own!"

There are a number of other ways to handle the game buster depending on whom he (or she) is, but you'll have to wait for the new book for all of them!

Best regards...

> Home > Dr. Neder Relationship Advice: Main Page

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Have a love, relationship, sex or man/woman question? I answer all email. You can write to me at dwneder@beingman.com for answers. For more information about my books, "Being a Man in a Woman's World" (volume I & II), and other products visit: www.beingaman.com. Check out the discussion group at: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/beingaman.

Copyright (c) 2004-2011, Dr. Dennis W. Neder
All rights reserved.