Finding Out What Your "Type" Is

Hello!

I read your article on the web ("Getting Women to Approach You"). So here’s a question: I met this girl a few months ago and we have started going out. She is very pretty and can have anyone she wants. I on the other hand go right past all that and treat her like a person with ALL the flaws anyone else has, (right down to noticing a pimple), instead of complimenting her. She is obviously not used to this kind of treatment which is more lighthearted and fun, not clingy or desperate and it attracted her big time.

We've been on a couple of superficial dates now and I want to get to know her more. The funny thing part is, she just doesn’t turn me on! Amazing, huh?

For some reason she seems hesitant of me getting to know her. We know very little about each other and I want to take it further. Frankly if something doesn't happen soon, I am going to have to let her go. My feeling is she has some sort of trust issue EVEN though she has other male friends she hangs out with.

So, what do you think? Is this a problem with trust, or maybe just straight up fear of letting her real self come out?

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Hello!

First of all, it sounds like you've done a good job with her - congratulations so far. However, this has nothing to do with "trust" at all. It has everything to do with "type".

So, she's a beauty, but you just don't find that you're attracted to her. The first question is: why not? Here's the most likely reason: she's not your "type". One of the biggest mistakes that guys make is to assume that any beautiful woman is their "type" when in fact, most of them are not! You're finding this out right now. While she's nice to look at, she doesn't otherwise have what you need to be interested in her. Now the questions become: 1) is she really the person you are looking for, and 2) if not, can you turn her into that person?

Of course, before you answer this question, you have to answer another: what exactly DO you want in a woman? My brother, you need to have clear, written relationship goals, just like you have goals for other areas of your life. If you don't know what you want, the very first woman that walks by is the right one! However, looking for beautiful women isn't enough.

We guys tend focus very heavily on looks. Sure, you want someone that you're visually attracted to, but once you get over the way a woman looks, what then? Is she interesting to talk to? Are you proud of her and what she believes? Can you respect the things she does and her accomplishments - even if you don't agree with them? Does she want the same things you want out of life and relationships?

It's unfortunate but most truly beautiful women seem to have ignored their own intelligence and "well-roundedness". They have focused most of their attention on those looks because it has earned them the most attention. For example, how many "8's", "9's" and "10's" do you think have actually read through a newspaper in the past 5 years? Frankly, very, very few of them!

In my newest book, "Being a Man in a Woman's World II" I deal with this very situation - how to know if a woman is your "type". In fact, I created a "Rating Instrument" that will help clear this up. What's even better is that the Rating Instrument is available for download from my website for free! This tool will help you look at this (or any women) in 10 different areas with looks being only one of them!

I suggest you go to the website and scroll down a page or so (http://beingaman.com). You'll find the instrument there. Click on it and you can download your own copy for free. Then, run her through it. See how she fits. It will give you a "rating" of her based on your needs and interests. What's even better is that this can be adjusted to fit your own personal goals. It'll even help you know if she's close to your idea woman and in what areas she needs work. You can then decide if you're willing to put that work in or not.

Best regards...

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Have a love, relationship, sex or man/woman question? I answer all email. You can write to me at dwneder@beingman.com for answers. For more information about my books, "Being a Man in a Woman's World" (volume I & II), and other products visit: www.beingaman.com. Check out the discussion group at: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/beingaman.

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