Online dating tips and relationship advice from Dr. Neder...
How Do
I Get Her Out of His Life?
Doctor:
My ex-husband and I have been divorced 3 years. We were married
13 years and have 2 children. For the last 8 months we have
started having sex again. He has a girlfriend that almost lives
with him, but will not tell her he is seeing me. I have tried
to tell her this but she won't believe me.
I want to get our family back together but I'm not sure how
to show him that this is the best thing. How do I get her out
of the picture, so that nobody else gets hurt?
----------------------------- Hello!
Obviously, I don't know your family situations, but you might
want to ask yourself, if getting everything back together is
REALLY the best thing. After all, you divorced for some reason.
Just because you're having sex again doesn't mean that the
relationship will work again. Putting two people together in
a live-in arrangement adds tremendous amounts of stress to
the relationship, (as you already know!)
I think you've done the wrong thing by going
to his girlfriend. Frankly, you don't "own" him
or his relationships! If you're not getting what you want
from him your choice is
to move on and find someone that DOES give you what you need.
Sticking your nose into his relationship is a bad, problematic
thing and frankly, you should butt-out.
Thus, you can't get her "out of the picture" -
that is his choice. If he doesn't see the need or the benefit,
he
won't make that decision. You can't create things for his life;
you can only do so for yours.
Best regards...
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