Online dating tips and relationship advice from Dr. Neder...
My Girlfriend
is a Liar!
It started as white lies at first about small things then on
to more serious things. She is not a very good liar and
exposes herself with inconsistent stories and I’m just
about fed up.
For instance, she was talking to a few guys before me, and
lies about them not calling her. There are a more lies that
I’ll spare you from but she thinks I’m overreacting about this
and always says, “How are we going to have a relationship without
trust?”
I just can’t trust someone who always lies to me. She says
I’m crazy and controlling but I disagree, it’s just that she’s
so immature that sometimes I know that she’s wrong and I’m
right and it makes me talk to her like I’m her dad.
If I don’t say anything when I catch her in a lie she continues
to do it, but if I keep getting angry shell probably lie even
more because of fear of my reaction. PLEASE HELP!
---------------- Hello!
Yes, your girlfriend is a liar. So are you. So are your parents
and your teachers and your co-workers and your pastor and everyone
else in the world. Everyone - and I mean EVERYONE - lies.
You are overreacting. Get over it.
Here's
the real problem: you want to try to make your girlfriend
responsible for your feelings of insecurity
and inadequacy.
You want her to make you "trust her" when in fact,
you simply don't trust yourself to make good decisions about
your relationship.
You're trying to get your girlfriend to live up to a standard
that even you can't meet. Now, stop. Before you rush to your
keyboard to tell me how wrong I am - that you aren't a liar
- just don't bother. That itself is a lie.
Do yourself
a favor and go to my website (http://BeingAMan.tv) and click
on "Video". From there, click "Self
Help" and watch the video on "trust". It'll
explain to you why what you're trying to do isn't going to
work.
Instead, you need to build up that trust from inside first.
This is the only reason why she's taking advantage of you -
because you let her. Look at it from another angle. Let's say
that you were so secure with yourself that if she were having
guys over, you'd simply laugh to yourself; realizing that she's
losing someone incredible, and go off to find some other girl
that knew better. How would that change the scene? Do you think
she'd risk losing THAT guy? Of course not.
Right now, what does she risk losing? Frankly, not very much.
You're the one that shoulders all the risk - and it's entirely
self-inflicted.
Best regards...
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Have a love, relationship,
sex or man/woman question? I answer all email. You can write
to me at dwneder@beingman.com
for answers. For more information about my books, "Being
a Man in a Woman's World" (volume I & II), and other
products visit: www.beingaman.com.
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Copyright (c) 2004-2011, Dr. Dennis W. Neder
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