Online dating tips and relationship advice from Dr. Neder...
She Keeps
Kissing Everybody!
Hi,
I am in a serious relationship of over one year. Over the course
of our relationship, my girlfriend and I have spent most of
the time that we have been together without the company of our
respective friends. Once in a while we are in a situation where
one of my girlfriend's male friends is coming or going and her
standard greeting or send off is a kiss on the lips.
I don't kiss anyone
on the lips other than my girlfriend. I find it unsanitary.
She obviously doesn't. She does insist on all shoes being removed
in the apartment and street clothes not being worn on the bed
(even on top of the comforter).
I have gone along
with her need to feel a sense of cleanliness, but she refuses
to discuss her lip-planting all of these guys she is friends
with. She says that's just the way she is, and tells me to get
over it. I can't. I do not feel respected or comfortable not
to mention grossed out!
-Cold Sore Patrol
------------------------
Hello!
This is ABSOLUTELY
a matter of respect (or disrespect on her part)! Just like they
say you're having sex with every other partner your girlfriend
has had, you're also kissing them too! Further, she's giving
you the dreaded "Test"!
If you've read
any of my articles, you know that I talk about "The Test"
all the time, and it is a matter of utmost importance that you
get it handled once and for all, or it's just going to get worse!
Regardless of how she sees it, you don't feel comfortable with
it, and frankly, that's all that should matter.
To handle this
you're going to have to put your foot down and tell her, no
more kissing other guys on the lips - period. Further, if she
kisses some guy on the lips, you're not going to kiss her until
after she takes a bath! You should also have a long talk with
her regarding respect. (By the way - I once got a chick I was
dating to stop smoking by doing this! She had to fully brush
her teeth every time she smoked before I would kiss her - outside
of course. What a pain in the ass!)
If this doesn't
get you anywhere, you might want to illicit some of your female
friend's help - at least those you'd want to tongue-kiss. Of
course, you've got to make sure you do this only in public,
and hopefully around her friends, as the humiliation factor
is the primary key.
The reason why
this is so insidious (and she knows it is!) is that she can
easily come back with "but we're only friends - YOU must
be insecure!" How do you defend that statement? This is
why it is so imperative to get corrected immediately. You might
also want to pick up a copy of my book, "Being a Man in
a Woman's World" as it goes into handling these kinds of
tests in great depth.
Let me know how
things turn out, my brother...
Best regards...
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