Why Do You Want My Number?

Hey Doc,

I found this strange, but a woman asked me why I wanted her phone number when I asked for it. Isn’t it obvious as to why a man asks a woman for her phone number especially when the two have been flirting with each other for the past who knows how long! This was the very first time this had happened out of the dozens of women I had asked for it! I honestly didn’t know how to react...anyhow she made up some excuse why she couldn’t give it to me and she walked away. Since she's just one out of countless women, it doesn’t matter that much but I'm just curious as to "why ask why?" And why would she flirt and then not give me her number when I ask? What would you have done?

Thanks for your help, Doc Neder.

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Hello!

Yes, of course what you want is obvious to her. What she's asking you for isn't really why you want it, she's telling you in female terms that you haven't finished "selling" her yet. Flirting itself isn't enough. You have to do the other things I write about in "Being a Man in a Woman's World" like establishing connection, building closeness and then closing. The real trick here is recognizing WHY she’s asking, not what she’s asking.

You might have also been faced with two other situations that we should explore:

The first, that she might very possibly be an attention whore - only interested in your attention to boost her sagging ego. However, you want to determine this as early as possibly by getting the facts early. Ask her what she’s doing there and “test close” her.

A second possibility is that you probably were in a bar or club and she had her bitch shield up! Many women go to clubs (along with many guys that don’t know any better), and are instantly on guard. If you don’t have your game well established from the first time you make eye contact, you’ve already lost. In fact, many of these same women go there to play a little game called, “collect the numbers”.

The idea of this game is to see who can get the most numbers from guys, whom they never intend on calling, without giving away their own numbers! Believe me, this happens all the time and the main venue for this game are clubs and bars. The reason for it is that women know that the guys there are usually clueless.

Best regards...

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Have a love, relationship, sex or man/woman question? I answer all email. You can write to me at dwneder@beingman.com for answers. For more information about my books, "Being a Man in a Woman's World" (volume I & II), and other products visit: www.beingaman.com. Check out the discussion group at: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/beingaman.

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