Online dating tips and relationship advice from Dr. Neder...
Why Hot
Women Treat Guys Like Crap
Hey Doc:
It seems to me that the more attractive women (ridiculously
gorgeous) will always treat the guy they are dating like crap.
My friend claims always to have that problem and feels the
need to dump them. What do you think? It can't be as simple
as that these women can pretty much get what they want so they
always push their luck?
------------------------ Hello!
I know exactly what you're saying here. Yes, it SEEMS like
that to us guys because we're looking at it from our own perspectives
- our own needs.
Consider this: if you tried to pull some of this crap with
your buddies; what would happen? They'd start by questioning
your manhood and eventually just dump you as a friend. That's
because it's not only unreasonable, it's rude.
However, we guys tend to put up with it from beautiful women!
That's a tragic mistake however.
Men and women bring different assets to the
table. It's not exactly "fair", but it is the reality of life. Women
bring their looks (and if you're smart) their skills. Frankly,
very few guys worry about the latter and focus on the former.
Men on the other hand bring their power which translates outwardly
in many different ways - the way our friends treat us, our
earning power, our "prestige" and many other ways.
What's particularly unfair about this is that
as you get older, your power-base continues to grow. With
women, their attributes
fade over time. A "10" in her 20's will drop to a "5" or
a "6" in her 40's. She knows that and has to work
quickly to hook a guy that is a "10" in her eyes
as early as possible. That's not my rule by the way - it was
here when I arrived! It's also one of the main reasons that
younger women are fascinated with older men!
Here's why beautiful women act this way: they're
giving you what I call the "Pre-Test". It's a chance
for them to see if your power-level is above, at, or below
theirs. Since
beautiful women have a much higher asset-value than their less-attractive
girlfriends, they want you to bring a much higher power-base
with you. All of these challenges are about proving that's
who you are.
Here's an interesting aside to this discussion:
many less-attractive women mistakenly think that by challenging
you in similar ways,
they will appear more attractive! Women even talk about how "men
want a challenge". They are totally wrong however. If
their looks don't match their challenges, we'll just dump them
entirely and move on as being too much maintenance - which
they are.
Thus, it's imperative that you establish that
power-base immediately from the moment you approach a woman.
There are many ways to
do this from using a cocky-funny type approach to neg-hits
(like "Hey, those are nice shoes, my grandmother has a
pair just like them!") to an aire of disinterest. You
also need to call on these tools as the relationship matures
because she's going to Test you far more often - and for far
longer than a less-attractive woman.
You know that women go for "jerks" right? This is
one of the most important reasons why they do so! An apparent
jerk seems to move in his own direction at his own speed. This
signals power. Likewise, women (not men!) want a challenge,
and the challenge of taming the "bad boy" is just
too irresistable!
All women will give all men they are interested THE Test.
This is a big, emotional - and artificial - situation created
early-on in the relationship (usually within a month, but no
more than two) that is designed to specifically and clearly
establish the power-base within the relationship. Most guys;
being the problem-solvers that we are, will try to deal with
the issue of The Test - not handle it as a Test. This means
we've failed - and lost our power-base to boot.
The wise dude will always deal directly and specifically with
The Test as a Test instead; thus, firmly establishing a greater
power relationship with the woman.
This is somewhat complicated at first to grasp,
and I've only scratched the scratch of this important topic.
I encourage
you to read my books "Being a Man in a Woman's World I & II" for
complete understanding of The Test, the Mini-Test and the Pre-Test.
The bottom line is this: don't fault beauties for using these
tools. Women have evolved over the millennia to have these
(and frankly, many more) tools to establish their own places
in relationships. Instead, learn them and more important; learn
how to deal with them, and you'll have some incredible, beautiful
women that fall in love with you all the time.
That's what these women really want. If you can pass their
Tests easily, they feel safe, secure and will give you just
as much love and respect as women of lesser looks.
Best regards...
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Have a love, relationship,
sex or man/woman question? I answer all email. You can write
to me at dwneder@beingman.com
for answers. For more information about my books, "Being
a Man in a Woman's World" (volume I & II), and other
products visit: www.beingaman.com.
Check out the discussion group at: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/beingaman.
Copyright (c) 2004-2008, Dr. Dennis W. Neder
All rights reserved.
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