Online dating tips and relationship advice from Dr. Neder...
How Do
I Approach Her and What Do I Say?
I'm a 19 year old guy studying at college in the UK and there
is a girl who I've seen around, mainly in the library.
I would like to approach her but have no clue what to say
and I'm afraid she might laugh at me for trying to speak
to her. I have no confidence and I'm afraid the girl has
noticed my interest because she's caught me looking a few
times.
How do I approach her and what do I say?
----------------- Hello!
First of all, this girl isn't going to laugh at you for talking
to her. That's just your own fears getting in the way. Trust
me, she's going to be far more worried about whether she has
something stuck in her teeth or if her hair is a mess than
the fact that you're taking to her!
I teach
a large number of approach systems - all for different situations
and based on particulars between
the two people.
However, one of the easiest to explain is called the "context
approach". Let's use that here.
To begin,
all you have to do is ask yourself this question: "What
do she and I have in common at this very place, at this very
instant in time, in this very situation?" Your answer
to that question is your "context" for the approach.
It's that simple. You already have tons of context available
to you: you both go to the same school, you probably have a
few classes (even if they aren't at the same time), etc. Any
of these are great context foundations to approach her!
Keep in mind that you're not going to make the terrible mistake
so many guys make: thinking that you're going to make this
girl fall in love with you from the way you approach her. That
simply doesn't work. That's why pick-up lines always fail and
guys that try to hard fall flat on their faces.
Your goal
is to just break the ice (using your context) and then to
build rapport and connection using communication
skills.
If you're not sure how to do this, I strongly encourage you
to read my books, "Being a Man in a Woman's World I & II".
These are the textbooks on exactly this - along with how to
build things all along the way.
Best regards...
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Have a love, relationship,
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to me at dwneder@beingman.com
for answers. For more information about my books, "Being
a Man in a Woman's World" (volume I & II), and other
products visit: www.beingaman.com.
Check out the discussion group at: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/beingaman.
Copyright (c) 2004-2011, Dr. Dennis W. Neder
All rights reserved.
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