Online dating tips and relationship advice from Dr. Neder...
How To
Be A Man
Hey Doc!
I just
want to say thanks for helping to transform me into a better
man than I was! Growing up, I had a dad
that was often
not available due to work. He and my mother would frequently
get into fights with him screaming and yelling (he never hit
my mother however) but my limited time with my dad up until
high school feminized me a bit. I always got to hear moms side
of the story, and started looking at everything from her point
of view – highly feminized. Naturally, I would take the side
of the girls even when I entered the dating scene and was unable
to "hang with the boys" like I should have.
Still struggling
with a few relationships, but mostly described as the infamous "catch";
I moved away and joined the military. I found your website
and wrote you twice in the
past. After your advice from the first time I bought BAM and
it helped me out a lot! It completely changed my perspective.
Right now
I’m deployed to a substandard country. I had a girlfriend
right before I left and was going to tell
her "let's go
our own ways, and we'll see what happens later" but she
throws this huge going away party for me with her family, drinks
everything and I went soft.
After I
left we were on LDR status which I was skeptical of in the
first place. Three months later she
gives me the “lets
just be friends” email, to which I replied, "By friends,
do you mean therapist for all your future problems from now
on?? No. I have lots of friends. See you later!"
Since then, I’ve been able to get a good looking British chick
to practically eat out of the palm of my hand, with a few others
curious! Despite the horrible military ratio here!
I’ve been reading BAM 2 on my free time to keep my guard up
(one thing I learned is to never keep your guard down in the
first place!) and it’s been an incredible help!
The point being is your material has helped me better become
a better man, although the term has lost its meaning in society....you
know what I’m talking about.
Thanks again,
------------------------ Hello!
Thanks for your comments!
You are sooooo right about society losing the concept of what
a man is! I just had this very same discussion last night with
this beautiful actress I was with (and yes, you'd probably
recognize her.)
She was complaining that she doesn't seem to meet real men
any more and how different I was. Then, I proceeded to explain
to her why that was true and she said she didn't believe it!
I asked
her, "So, based on your own experience, how can
you deny what I'm saying is true?" She said, "Because
an entire generation of men couldn't possibly have lost all
of that - it'd take many generations to 'evolve' it out." "Really?" I
asked "Just because the traits are still there doesn't
mean that people know how to tap them." Eventually, she
finally agreed - her own experiences bearing the fact out.
Your experiences bear them out too! It's unfortunately, but
in a sea of feminization, without some model to follow; most
men fall into the same traps and actually believe that their
own gender is the problem. Men rarely have examples of masculinity
to draw from and with such huge pressure to be more like women,
it's amazing that there are any real or emerging men like you
out there!
I've very
proud of: 1) the fact that you realize the problems and 2)
that you're doing something about it.
No wonder you're
described as a "catch". Do you have any idea how
rare your "type" has become?
Oh, and yes, I do get occasional hate male from men too -
there are some of them in that list, but as you'd suspect,
its more women.
Great job Mike - I'm very proud of you. Even more important
than for yourself, just think of what you're doing for these
great women that really deserve a guy like you!
Best regards...
> Home > Dr.
Neder Relationship Advice: Main Page
- - - - - - - -
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
- - -
Have a love, relationship,
sex or man/woman question? I answer all email. You can write
to me at dwneder@beingman.com
for answers. For more information about my books, "Being
a Man in a Woman's World" (volume I & II), and other
products visit: www.beingaman.com.
Check out the discussion group at: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/beingaman.
Copyright (c) 2004-2009, Dr. Dennis W. Neder
All rights reserved.
|
