Getting "In Touch" With Yourself

Hi!

I'm a 19-year-old girl and my question is what should I use for masturbation that will not hurt or ruin my health or my life? I'm single and still a virgin. Will masturbation destroy my virginity?

- - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Hello!

That's a great question!

Masturbation is a very personal thing and each person find something different in it. I'm glad that you're interested in exploring this part of you, as it is a very safe, healthy and fun way to discover your own sexuality.

Women have far more options when it comes to masturbation than men have. Keep in mind that your sexual anatomy helps to give you these options.

Before I go into a lot of this, let me talk about virginity first. Technically speaking, a virgin is a person that has not had sexual intercourse with another person. Thus, technically you'll still be a virgin even if you insert something into yourself. The vagina in virgins has a thin membrane of skin that covers the opening and is called the "hymen". However, with women being very active today, this hymen is often already broken even before having sex for the first time! If your goal is to retain this skin, you will not want to put anything inside your vagina, but frankly, this isn't what virginity is all about anyway!

So, let's talk about masturbation.

As I mentioned, you have many, many options due to your sexual anatomy. Many women learn to masturbation with their fingers alone by touching the clitoris (the sensitive nub toward the most forward part of the pussy) either directly, or by moving around it, and/or by inserting one or more fingers inside of themselves. The clitoris is very similar to a man's penis in that the majority of nerve endings are there. This is why many women tend to concentrate on that area when masturbating.

Some women find that fingers don't give them the right type - or enough - stimulation and use all sorts of other methods. For instance, some women put pillows between their legs and rub against them. Others lie on their backs in the bathtub and use water from the faucet, or enjoy the pulsating of a hand-held shower massager.

Many women find that sex toys work best for them. There are all sorts of these toys from dildoes (shaped like penises) for insertion into the vagina or rubbing on the clitoris, to toys that vibrate. These vibrating toys can often be used against the outside of the pussy and on the clitoris, (although, many women find them too intense for direct contact with the clit and will move the around the area instead), and even placed inside. There are even toys that combine insertion with vibration. All of these come in different colors, shapes and some even light up! What fun!

The key to learning to masturbate is to first find what "works" for you. What makes you feel good? You are unique and may have to explore somewhat in order to be able to find just the right amount and type of stimulation that works for you.

Many women also combine fantasy with their masturbation. This fantasy can be anything (and everything) that gets you hot. You can imagine being with a certain person sexually, or being in different settings and locations, or anything else you like. This is a safe and healthy way to learn about yourself.

Best regards...

> Home > Dr. Neder Relationship Advice: Main Page

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Have a love, relationship, sex or man/woman question? I answer all email. You can write to me at dwneder@beingman.com for answers. For more information about my books, "Being a Man in a Woman's World" (volume I & II), and other products visit: www.beingaman.com. Check out the discussion group at: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/beingaman.

Copyright (c) 2004-2011, Dr. Dennis W. Neder
All rights reserved.