Online dating tips and relationship advice from Dr. Neder...
The Meaning
Of A Jewelry Change
I have come a cross a question to which I can find no answer
and was wondering if you can help me.
My wife recently
returned from an overseas conference wearing an ankle bracelet
on each leg. She is older and doesn't usually wear much jewelry
at all.
The conference
was with about a number of other women and a few men and held
in French Polynesia. The day after she arrived home the left
bracelet was gone but the right one has remained and she never
takes it off.
She claims there
is nothing to it, but I wonder. Is there any sexual connotation
to wearing an ankle bracelet?
Thanks for your
help!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Hello!
Many people use
"body modification" as an outward expression of the
inward self. Many others do it for "fashion".
Examples of this
is tattooing and piercing. In many cultures tattooing indicates
a right of passage. In Samoa for example, young men are expected
go get tattoos as a sign of their entry into adulthood. Tattoos
are given by specialists using very crude tools, resulting in
great pain for the wearer. For many in that culture tattooing
continues throughout life often resulting in a "body suit".
These are highly prized and given great respect by those in
the culture. Others use piercing as a sign of cultural significance
and personal growth. Examples of this include piercings worn
in the lips, noses, nipples and genitals.
In both these cases
there is a level of ritual combined with the modification. Often
this ritual is spiritual in nature and surrounded by great ceremony.
Other "sub-cultures"
use piercing and tattooing as a symbol of their involvement
in that sub-culture. One example of this is the SM community
where piercings and jewelry are used as a symbol of bondage,
submission, dominance and power.
Today, many people
are also doing these things for fashion rather than ritual.
I personally believe that errantly altering the body is a deeply
personal thing and to do it simply for fashion greatly lessen
the cultural significance imbued in the act. For this same reason,
many cultures are insulted by the west's fashion-attitude regarding
these practices.
What does all this
have to do with your wife's jewelry?
Many people use
jewelry as the same outward exploration of these cultures, and
the beliefs they hold. In fact, many pieces of clothing mimic
these same aspects without committing the wearer to them. Examples
of this include leather clothing and boots, high-heels - especially
those with straps that circle the ankles, corsetry, certain
forms of underwear, collars, bracelets, toe rings, etc.
It's very possible
that your wife's interest in the ankle jewelry is like this.
Perhaps she's enjoying the feeling of being "bound"
by the chain around her ankle, or just that she thinks it makes
her legs look good.
In any case, it
doesn't mean that she has been unfaithful to you, just that
she's exploring something in herself. I'll bet that if you ask
her about it, she'd be happy to explain it if she senses you're
really interested, and not ready to judge.
Best regards...
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Dr. Dennis W. Neder
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