Key To The First Date

Hi Doc.

I really appreciate your weekly newsletter; it gives me information I never knew before about women – thanks!

But, I haven't really gone out on many dates before and was wondering how a person like myself would end a good date? I have been e-mailing this chick for a week now and I think it’s the right time to ask her out. I want to keep her entertained, and we are both interested in similar things, like art, museums, etc. So, would a good place like an art gallery and such be a good place for a first date?

Also, when I drive her to her door at the end of the day, should I kiss her? I want to leave a good impression of myself after we finish the date and was wondering what is the best method to get her wanting more.

I would appreciate it if you could reply ASAP because I am really eager to ask her out.

Thanks!

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Hello!

Thanks for your comments on the articles. It's good to get letters from guys like you because it tells me that we're making a difference.

You've brought up a number of questions here, and I'll answer them the best I can in a simple email. But, the "definitive answer" is in my book, "Being a Man in a Woman's World", so get a copy for yourself!

Let's begin at the end: how to "end" a date. You absolutely MUST kiss her goodnight! There's no question on this point. The problem most men face is that it's like the entire date was building up to this point, so the pressure seems huge. You want to come off smoothly, but boldly too. Further, you want the kiss to be a good one, and to "say something".

Because this kiss is so critical a skill, I recommend that you don't make it the first kiss of the night! In fact, I strongly suggest that you kiss her hello! That is very bold, and is something that I do all the time. When I first meet a woman, I will kiss her hello either at her door, or wherever it is that we meet. Not only does this get it out of the way, but it is a very strong first move. Further, it is impressive to women. If you can't kiss her hello, you should at least find some time during the date to take her in your arms and kiss her.

The other benefit of this first kiss is that it will tell you what HER interests are. If she gives you a "grandmother" kiss, (the kind you give your grandmother), she is either a terrible kisser, or she isn't interested. You can then adjust your own actions to fit.

Of course, this kiss shouldn’t be one where you shove your tongue down her throat either. It should be just a simple closed-mouth kiss that lingers just a little too long.

As far as where to take her on the date - an art museum is ideal. First, it is inexpensive (a VERY good thing!). You should never spend much money on any initial dates with a woman. The reasons for this are that you don't want to set a bad precedent. If you drop some real coin on the first date, what are you going to do for the second? What about the third? Etc. This can escalate out of control very quickly.

Another reason why this is such a good choice is that you can spend time talking. You can ask her why she likes a particular piece of art, or what a painting or sculpture "says" to her. Many guys avoid situations where they have to talk, because they believe they aren’t good conversationalists. So, get her talking instead! She'll think that YOU are a great conversationalist!

On the other hand, you never want to take a woman to a movie or a concert for this very same reason. You need "face time" with her to be able to both gather information, and to get your game on.

Here’s are two other articles on getting her to be the talker on your date:

http://beingaman.com/never_be_at_a_loss.htm
http://beingaman.com/follow-up_never_be_at_a_loss.htm

These are just a few of the keys to the first date. Let me know how it turns out.

Best regards...

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Have a love, relationship, sex or man/woman question? I answer all email. You can write to me at dwneder@beingman.com for answers. For more information about my books, "Being a Man in a Woman's World" (volume I & II), and other products visit: www.beingaman.com. Check out the discussion group at: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/beingaman.

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