Online dating tips and relationship advice from Dr. Neder...
Help!
I Lied to My Girlfriend!
My girlfriend of two years sent me a nice email while I was
working. I saw it, read it, and then did not respond as I
wanted to get back to work and didn't think anything of it.
When I finished working, she had texted me asking why I had
not responded. I told her that I had just read it, and that
it was nice. She had looked in my email (to make sure it
had sent) and saw that I had read it many hours before. She
confronted me on it and told me that it is hard for her to
trust people, and that she doesn't know if she can trust
me any more.
I
feel terrible and apologized many times, but am not sure
what else I can do. Any ideas? Thanks!
------------------------ Hello!
Wait a minute here. First of all, what in the hell is she
doing going through your email??? That is your PRIVATE email
and she has no business going through it any more than you
have going through hers. Change your password right now!
Second, you lied to her? Big f*cking deal!!! Do you honestly
think she hasn't lied to you? Come on already! Here's the reality:
EVERYONE, BUT EVERYONE lies. It's an ingrained part of our
communication systems. EVERYONE does it! Anyone that claims
they don't is a damn liar!
For her to try to hold you to some unreasonable standard as
to have to make up for her feelings being hurt by someone else
is pure rubbish - made only the worse by you accepting such
a ridiculous responsibility! You're not her therapist; you're
her boyfriend, (right?)
You've already apologized and that's that. Now, you need to
go to her and ask her what in the f*ck she's doing checking
up on you and what you say. You were busy - that's it! It's
not a big deal and you simply tried to find the most expedient
way to deal with the issue which was to lie. BIG f*ckING DEAL!!!
Nobody died. Nobody was sent to jail. Nobody's Christmas was
ruined. Sheesh!
Tell her to let it go already and that you're not going to
be responsible for making up for all the hurts of her past.
If that's what she's looking for - total and complete honesty
- she's going to wind up being one very sad, very lonely lady.
And YOU stop being such a pussy and putting up with all of
this nonsense! It's time to man-up here my brother. Stop feeling
terrible and stop apologizing or you're going to lose this
girl. She needs your strength, not your weakness and guilt.
Best regards...
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