Online dating tips and relationship advice from Dr. Neder...
My Hot Neighbor
Hi-
I am a 49 yr. old
divorced man. I have a next-door neighbor of 5 months who is
about 50 and is stunning. She has what appears to be a somewhat
casual boyfriend in that she frequently is not with him on Friday
or Saturday nights.
I am not inexperienced
with women and in fact find it very easy to meet and "get"
women. I have been very casual for these many months with her
and in the last 2 weeks she has spent several evenings with
me; out to eat, take out at her place, a small get together
at her home she invited me to; but no boyfriend!
She has commented
that she is "involved" and having been married for
27 years. Saturday night at dinner she says she, "...isn't
very good at this…" By this time she has told me at least
twice in the past week that she is "attracted " to
me and this has led to some passionate kissing, but nothing
more.
I seem to be getting
many conflicting signals from her. For example, she has said,
"Be my best friend and see if anything happens”. She also
says I appeared like a billboard that she did not expect and
portends confusion and etc.
Where do I go from
here and how do I get there? Point me in the right direction
...whatever it takes.
Thank you
Hello!
Actually, this
is going pretty well, but not perfect - all for the lack of
a plan. Don't worry; I'm going to give you some steps to take
this to the next level.
First, consider
this: she's your next-door neighbor. What would happen if things
don't work out between you? It's going to be somewhat difficult
to break this all up if it does. Further, can you just imagine
the wacky fun when you bring home some other little cutie and
your neighbor is there looking out the window? It should make
for one madcap night!
Ok, so I can't
talk you out of this, can I? Well, let's just jump right into
that abyss...
You have spent
enough time with her for things to have "happened"
- right? So why haven't they? That's because she's trying to
tell you that she isn't going to make any moves and that you're
going to have to do this. That's exactly what she's saying with
"...isn't very good..." and "...be my best friend..."
comments.
As you know, I
don't recommend that you be any woman's "best friend".
In fact, you should be her worst nightmare! You need to be the
guy that knows what he wants, and is willing to take things
there.
Where is "there"?
It's right into the bedroom. You see, you've don't the kissy-face
thing, but then you dropped the ball waiting for her to do something
like drag you onto the floor and tear your clothes off with
her teeth. She's not going to do this. So, it's going to be
your job instead.
To start this,
you need to set-up a date with her some Saturday night. Don't
worry about the "boyfriend" as he's a non-issue. Even
if she brings him up! After all, what kind of "boyfriend"
wouldn't be there with her regularly. That's the position you
want to fill, right?
When you pick her
up, be sure to kiss her "hello". If you're not sure
how to do this, check this article on the "opening kiss":
http://www.beingaman.com/the_opening_kiss.htm
Go out and have
a nice time - have dinner, enjoy a bottle of wine, etc. Keep
everything on a romantic direction - and keep your eyes focused
on the goal. You want to sleep with her to start establishing
your "territory". When you take her home, walk inside
with her. Now's the time to initiate things. Start with some
more kissy-face, and be sure to explore her body as things progress.
Once things are
nice and hot, you can move to the bedroom. She's likely to give
you some stop signals, but note closely if they are half-hearted
or not. She's trying to play the "good girl", and
has these mixed feelings, so she's hoping, (expecting) you to
carry her through this. Unless she's absolutely adamant - you
two are bedroom-bound!
I'd also recommend
that you call her the next morning just to see "...if she's
ok". Just say hello, tell her why you called, that you
had a great evening, and are looking forward to the next time
you can get together.
My brother, this
is where it all begins.
Best regards...
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Dr. Dennis W. Neder
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