How To Change A Belief System

Many guys write to me and ask how they can go about correcting self-limiting or harmful beliefs they’ve acquired along the way. This is an excellent question! These beliefs can hold you back from meeting the women of your dreams, getting dates, establishing relationships and so much more.

Here are some basic steps you can use right now to begin the process of changing your own self-limiting beliefs:

1) Start with the end in mind.

In other words, what outcome do you want? It's not enough to simply say "I want to meet chicks." Instead, you have to be very specific here and do the same type of work you'd do with your goals. You can say something like, "I will [note the positive, present tense in the statement] meet 5 women that fit my type in the next 30 days." You also have to determine your "type" which you will from my book “Being a Man in a Woman’s World”.

2) Visualize how your life will be different when you've reached your goal.

Can you imagine what changes will occur in your life when you've accomplished this? You absolutely must! Try to picture the positive feelings of having 5 women's numbers that want you to call them. Imagine the calmness you'll feel in relieving the tension from your goal. By setting a goal like this, you create tension. That's important. By reaching it, you relieve this tension. That's important too. Work on imagining how you'll feel, how things will look and even how the world sounds when you've accomplished your goal! Focus on the fact that you're changing fundamentally simply in reaching your goal. It's that very change that's critical. Once you change, you'll never go back to being the way you were before.

3) Turn up these feelings.

It's not enough to simply say, "Ok, I feel this way - that's nice." You now need to amplify them and feel them throughout your body. You need to visualize the positive impact of reaching your goal and actually enjoy the success - even though you haven't yet reached it. Continue to do this at least twice every day for the next week. More often and longer is even better.

Think of this as a reward for having set the goal in the first place. Reward yourself by imaging all the good things you deserve as having already come to you and think deeply of the person you'll become through it. Don't just feel good about the goal, feel good about whom you've become in reaching the goal. The difference is critical.

4) Project those feelings into action.

Before you set out to actually accomplish your goal, "project forward" into time that feeling of accomplishment. Get excited about achieving that first (or next) step along your way. Actually see [through your own eyes] that experience of accomplishing the first step. Imagine how confident and centered you'll feel because you've done it. Then, get excited about the next step. Use the feelings of excitement to create enthusiasm in your goal and continue to spur you on.

5) Continue to act until you reach your goal.

Don't give up. Continue your actions until you reach your goals. Give concerted effort to accomplishing them, but don't beat your head against a wall. If your plans don't help you get where you want to go, find new plans. Write your goals in concrete - they are never changing; but write your plans in sand. The methods you use to accomplish your goals aren't important. Accomplishing them is!

6) Reward yourself for each accomplishment - even small ones.

These rewards don't have to be huge but they should have meaning. In other words, it's ok to tell yourself, "Good job!" and to feel that reward. Likewise, as you continue along in accomplishing your goals, it's ok - and even good - to reward yourself in other ways too.

7) Don't fail to set your next goal before you're finished with the first!

This is important. If you don't set the next goal and try to ride the high of accomplishing the first, you'll never get very far. You want to constantly be moving in the direction of your bigger, more important goals by setting smaller ones short-term. Each step along the way gets you closer to your big goals, but you need to see the next step before you get to the end of the current one. In effect, these smaller goals overlap into accomplishing your bigger goals. Your bigger goals overlap into accomplishing your ultimate goals, and finally your ultimate goals overlap into accomplishing your life's plan.

I hope that helps.

Best regards...

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Have a love, relationship, sex or man/woman question? I answer all email. You can write to me at dwneder@beingman.com for answers. For more information about my books, "Being a Man in a Woman's World" (volume I & II), and other products visit: www.beingaman.com. Check out the discussion group at: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/beingaman.

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