Online dating tips and relationship advice from Dr. Neder...
Why It's
So Hard To Not Be A 'Nice Guy'
Oh, how easy it is for us to slip into "nice guy" mode!
We have a natural tendency to want to be nice guys and even
believe that this is exactly what women want from us. As you
probably know, it's not. Then, why do we do this?
Let me tell you a little story (I'll keep it short):
Many years
ago, I got my pilot's license. During that time I learned
a very important lesson about flying:
what you think
is going on (because of your senses) is NOT what you ever want
to use in actually flying a plane. Take the situation where
you're flying "blind" such as in clouds. Your body
tells you constantly that you're banking (turning) when in
fact; your instruments say that you're flying straight and
level. Add a little climb to this and the effect is dramatically
increased. In order to be a successful pilot (that is, to "live")
you have to get over the overwhelming desire to react to what
you think you feel, and to rely in your instruments, believe
them, trust then and do what they tell you to do.
So too it is with hunting women.
We have
a natural, inborn tendency to try to be "nice
guys" even though this is absolutely contrary to anything
that really works with women! Most guy's greatest challenge
is to break out of what they FEEL is right, and to start DOING
what is right. We need to use the tools we have (such as BAM)
in order to get past our natural tendencies and to be successful
with women.
Look at
the recent case of a friend of mine. He just wants to believe
against all hope that somehow, because
if "feels
good"; that he can "will" women into sleeping
with him, finding him attractive, etc. He wants to believe
it so badly, that he'll actually spend tons of cash on it,
and defend it to the end. Some "experts" pray on
this simply because most guys want feel-good, quick-fix answers
and the belief that they can control their outside world if
they just want it badly enough or discover the "secret".
We here know that this doesn't work. Instead, we learn to
rely on our instruments instead - and do what they tell us
to do.
Best regards...
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Have a love, relationship,
sex or man/woman question? I answer all email. You can write
to me at dwneder@beingman.com
for answers. For more information about my books, "Being
a Man in a Woman's World" (volume I & II), and other
products visit: www.beingaman.com.
Check out the discussion group at: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/beingaman.
Copyright (c) 2004-2011, Dr. Dennis W. Neder
All rights reserved.
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