Online dating tips and relationship advice from Dr. Neder...
She Texted
Me To Ask Me Out - Is That Cool?
Dr. Neder:
A girl
in my class recently asked me out via text message. I responded
back that doing that was kind of
disrespectful.
She responded "whatever." That is as far as it went.
I'm on break now for a few weeks. Did I handle that correctly?
--------------- Hello!
No.
Here's the reality: it WAS disrespectful for her to ask you
out this way and that was very likely based on her insecurity.
Thus, when you called her on it, you actually brought up her
very fear - of being rejected. She equates your view of her
asking you out as disrespectful. Do you see the difference?
Realize
that women are terrified of asking guys out. So are guys
too, but frankly, it's our job. Thus,
she went after the
only seemingly "safe" way she could - via text.
If you are interested in this girl, things aren't lost yet,
but you're going to have to act fast. Here's what you do:
The very
next time you see her (find her if you don't see her right
away) walk up to her and say, "Hey!
You know what? I shouldn't have called you on that texting
thing. What
was important was that you made an effort and frankly, I appreciate
that. It had to be tough for you to make that move in the first
place. Let me make it up to you by taking you out this next
weekend."
Now, keep in mind that you have about a 70% chance of success
- and a 30% chance of failure here. If her ego is so bruised
that she can't get past it, she'll turn you down. At least
you can walk away with your head up having taken the high-road.
Bottom
line: yes, texting is a very rude way of asking someone out.
I'd never let my guys do it, but when
a girl takes a risk
this big (to her) you should at least appreciate it for what
it is. Then, tell her that you prefer to talk on the phone
or in person because it's the way "real people" act.
Best regards...
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Have a love, relationship,
sex or man/woman question? I answer all email. You can write
to me at dwneder@beingman.com
for answers. For more information about my books, "Being
a Man in a Woman's World" (volume I & II), and other
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Copyright (c) 2004-2011, Dr. Dennis W. Neder
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