Relationship advice : Cliff Notes On The First Date

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Cliff Notes On The First Date

Eeek!!! I'm in total panic mode!!

Last night the really hot bartender at my favorite local watering hole invited me to go to a wrestling match with her next week (I'm not into wrestling at all but no way was I going to say no to her!). I think this is more of a "going out as friends" deal which is very cool because I like her a lot but on the other hand I don't want to blow this if it is or has the potential to be something more.

On top of that, I'm recently separated and haven't been on a date of any kind in like 18 years so I'm concerned about how I'm going to handle myself. I know there's plenty of good info throughout the DI site about that but due to time constraints, I kind of need the Cliff Notes version so I can digest the more important points beforehand.

Thanks!

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Hello!

Well, you've come to the right place! Let's get your game list in order:

1) Have you confirmed all the plans? Make sure you have absolute plans including: who's driving, where you're going to meet and when, (address, xx:xx pm, etc.), if you're picking her up early enough for dinner, etc. Also, be sure to have her telephone number in case there's a problem. You'll also need this later anyway.

2) If you're taking her to dinner, have the place in mind already - don't ask her, "So, what are you hungry for?" Have this already planned and the reservations made if necessary. Also, don't choose the most expensive place in town! Try to keep it simple. Remember, this is a sporting event, so even a sports bar is appropriate!

3) When you get ready, be sure to properly groom yourself. Check your nails, the hair in your ears, brush your teeth, etc. Also, be sure your shoes are neat. Don't wear 3-year-old sneakers with scuffs all over them. You should also put on some cologne, but go lightly - she'll be pissed if you "over smell" her!

4) Arrive just slightly late - not early - 10 minutes is fine, but no later.

5) When you see her, walk up with your hands out to take hers. Then, draw her to you, kiss her on the cheek and give her a big, slightly-too-long hug. This is very important! Don't miss this critical step. You see, the entire night is geared toward the "goodnight kiss". That's a lot of pressure! So, if you kiss her up front, you're already way ahead of the game!

6) When you go out with her, your job is to get HER talking. Don't spend the entire night talking about you, your accomplishments, your dreams or hopes, or anything else. Your job is to ask "open ended questions" and to get her talking about herself. Here are two articles on this very point:

http://www.beingaman.com/never_be_at_a_loss.htm
http://www.beingaman.com/follow-up_never_be_at_a_loss.htm

7) When you talk to her, keep her gaze and show rapt attention. Don't scan the room looking for hotter babes.

8) Remember, this is supposed to be fun! Go have fun!

9) At the end of the date, walk her up to her door (or her car if you meet away from her home), and very casually, and with confidence - kiss her on the lips. This is a very important part of the date. If she won't kiss you, you should just move on - she's not interested.

10) Wait about a week before you talk to her again. Don't call her the next day - she needs time to develop some fond memories! Then, either call her, or see her and tell her you want to pay her back for the evening by taking her to the monster truck rally, (just kidding). Either way, set that next date!

Best regards...

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Have a love, relationship, sex or man/woman question? I answer all email. You can write to me at dwneder@beingman.com for answers. For more information about my books, "Being a Man in a Woman's World" (volume I & II), and other products visit: www.beingaman.com. Check out the discussion group at: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/beingaman.