Online dating tips and relationship advice from Dr. Neder...
When to
Introduce Her To Your Friends
Hi,
I've had a couple
of dates with a woman who seems to have a lot of potential.
What is your rule of thumb for when and how to introduce her
to my friends? What sort of situations should I avoid?
Thanks
-----------------------------
Hello!
Excellent question!
Women understand
the importance of a man's friends AND family. My own rule of
thumb is that she doesn't meet them until after the 4th or 5th
date - and never before I sleep with her.
Why? Because women
know that once they get "in" with your friends, they
can use them to manage you. Here's an example:
Say your new woman
and your friends really hit it off. Very soon (if not immediately),
your friends will start inviting you AND her places. This insures
that you are with her (in her eyes). Now, say you want to invite
someone else. Your friends are going to start asking questions.
Thus, you'll be more likely to take the previous girl rather
than a new one.
On the other hand,
if she's up for it, I always want to meet HER friends as early
as possible. I will charm them, make them laugh, buy them all
a drink or two, and generally get in good with them. When I'm
not with her, her friends will be telling her what a great guy
I am, (insert evil laugh).
The downside to
this is that women are tighter friends than men are. Your male
friends may even see her as "available" to them -
and compete with you for her! (Be careful whom you choose as
friends!) Thus, if you've got something solid going with her
BEFORE you bring her around your friends, so much the better
for you.
Regarding your
buddies, make sure that you make time for them without her too!
Many men get all wrapped up in the couple, and forget that they
knew their friends before she entered the picture. If you take
care of your buddies, they will always be there when you need
them. You can't always say the same thing about girlfriends.
Best regards...
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Dr. Dennis W. Neder
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