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Online dating tips and relationship advice from Dr. Neder...

 

When Women Won't Commit

 

Hello Doc,

I would like to mention that you give great advice!

My problem and question is this: More often than I would like, I come upon women that seem interested and even say that they are. However, as time passes, they begin giving me the run around, start breaking dates, or putting them off until later, then obviously they never end up going on the date.

They tend to start making up excuses why they can’t go out but they have time to do everything else in the world except go out on a date with me. However, they continue saying things like: "Please don’t leave me, I just need more time to think about it", "I love you", "I am going to see you, I just don’t know when", and "I really want to go out with you but my parents and family say I cant go out with you..." and the excuses go on and on forever.

I can relate this scenario to several women I have come in contact with but the one I'm talking to now in particular. She has told me she's still interested and we've been talking for 4 months but she shows all of the "I'm just stringing you along signs". My question is this: how can you tell when a woman is telling the truth or just making up excuses, and what would you say to a woman you believe is just giving you the run-around? How do you react?

Thanks for your insight, Doc.

---------------------------------------

Hello!

Thanks for the comments on my articles/advice. You know, I'm just trying to build a better man!

Women are curious creatures. When you or I feel something, we say exactly what we mean without any beating around the bush, or embellishment. For example, we say, "I'm hungry", "I'm horney", "I'm tired", and it means exactly what we say. Women don't do this. They will say any number of things, and somehow, we're supposed to interpret what they mean!

A woman won't come out and tell you exactly this fact: that she was interested in you when she first met you, but now she's lost interested for some reason. That's exactly what she's "saying" with all the playing around, missing dates, etc., however!

When they start asking you to "stay around" while she "thinks about it", this is the female term for: "I really liked you when we first met, and had hoped you were 'the one'. Now, I've seen something that I don't like and want to see if you can change my impression."

Regarding this "4-month girl": Tell her to get the hell off the pot! 4 months??? My Brother, that's ridiculous! She's stringing you along because she might have some intentions, but I'd put my foot down. If this were me, I would have said (after about the 2nd week - not the 12th!), "Look, either you want to get together, or you don't. I've got a very, very low 'bullshit tolerance'. Either meet me for a drink tomorrow night - no cancellations, no delays, no exceptions; and don't be late - or just don't call me again!"

Why would I take such a hard stance? Because first, if I were Fabio, would I really believe she just couldn't find the time to get together with me? Of course not! Second, I don't want to waste my valuable time with someone that isn't a serious player. It isn't for me to decide WHO is serious and who isn’t; it's for her to decide. By not committing to at least one face-to-face, she's telling me she's something other than what I want.

The third reason is all about posture. I'm a man that knows what I want and will go after it. I'm not going to be led around by the nose on someone else's schedule. In fact, this is the entire thesis of my book, "Being a Man in a Woman's World" - you really should pick up a copy of it and commit it to memory!

Why do I say this? Because it is exactly what women want. I know because I spent 14 years researching the book's subjects, have done hundreds of interviews all over the world, talked to thousands of women, and have put it into play time and time again with huge success. This tack is critical to getting what YOU want (and deserve). Women WANT you to be the man that will sweep them off their feet. You do this be having a solid, well thought-out direction, and going for it. Any woman worth your attention will immediately see this and grab on with both hands, because if she doesn't, she knows that it will be HER that loses out!

Best regards...

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Have a love, relationship, sex or man/woman question? I answer all email. You can write to me at dwneder@beingman.com for answers. For more information about my books, "Being a Man in a Woman's World" (volume I & II), and other products visit: www.beingaman.com. Check out the discussion group at: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/beingaman.

Copyright (c) 2004-2011, Dr. Dennis W. Neder
All rights reserved.



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