Online dating tips and relationship advice from Dr. Neder...
Where
in the Hell are They? (Potential Partners)
Hey Doc:
I'm 25, and I've been out of the dating scene as well as college
for a couple of years now. I'm not a drinker, so I don't go
to bars, and I'm not a dancer, so I don't go to clubs. So where
can I go to meet someone who would date a guy like me? And
what places are appropriate to approach women, and which places
are inappropriate? The best I've been able to come up with
is church, but pickings are slim there.
Thanks for the help.
-------------------------- Hello!
Actually, this is a GOOD thing - not going to bars and clubs
to meet women.
Here's the reality: women often go to bars
and clubs, "dressed
to impress" simply to get hit on. That means that they
have their "bitch shields" up and it takes some real
game to get past this. Frankly, very, very few guys have what
it takes to do this, so the women go home with an ego-boost
having trashed a bunch of guys and the guys to home with their
ego in shambles.
Worse yet, many women these days are playing "Collect
the numbers" where they tell guys that ask for their number, "I
don't give my number out, give me yours and I'll call you." The
poor, dumb guy thinks he just hit it big only to find out that
the girl never intended to call him in the first place. She
just wanted to see how many guy's numbers she could collect
and compare it against her girlfriends!
So, if you don't meet women in bars and clubs, where do you
meet them? Answer: everywhere else!
Here's the problem:
Many guys (like you - it's ok) actually think that you need
to get all dressed up on a Friday or Saturday night and go
out to meet the woman of your dreams. That't not at all how
it works. Instead, you need to have your game in your backpocket
at all times. That way, when you see a woman you'd like to
meet, you can just walk up, run your game and walk away with
a number, a date or even more.
Think about this: how many great women have
you seen just walking around that you'd like to have met,
but didn't feel "ready"?
It happens to guys all the time. That's a huge waste of resources!
In effect, you should always be "on the hunt". That
doesn't mean you have to be a prowler or stalker - simply that
you know how to do the basics:
* Develop "context" for the approach
*
Know how to make the initial contact and "break
the ice"
* Know how to establish rapport and connection quickly
* Know how to close the right way - and get what you want.
The great thing is that these aren't difficult to learn!
The other thing you need is to get yourself out there and
actually meet these girls. As I said before, great women are
everywhere - except in your own living room. So, by getting
involved with both your day-to-day activities as well as other
things that interest you, you're instantly going to run into
these women.
You should definitely check out my e-book, "1001 Places
and Techniques for Meeting Great Women" as it'll give
you a very comprehensive list of where to meet women, but here
are just a few ideas:
* Bookstores
* Car wash
*
Community events (fairs, "music in the park",
etc.)
* Clubs and organizations
* Classes
* Stores and malls
...and literally thousands of other places!
Lose the idea that you have to go out "hunting" and
realize that you're always on the hunt. Then, you're instantly
going to find great women are all over the place - because
they are!
Best regards...
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a Man in a Woman's World" (volume I & II), and other
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Copyright (c) 2004-2011, Dr. Dennis W. Neder
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