Online dating tips and relationship advice from Dr. Neder...
She Became
Just A Booty Call With Her Many Mixed Signals
Hi, I first met this guy through mutual friends about 2 months
ago. The second time we all hung out during 4th of July
in which case, he instantly showed me interest and invited
me to another party. We flirted heavily and had a good
time until 4 am. When we parted he invited me to hang out
with him the next night however I declined because I didn't
want to make myself too available and I didn't offer my
number.
After a week I couldn't stop thinking about him so I got his
number from a mutual friend and asked him out. He didn't answer
so I left a message and he text me back the next morning saying
he's busy with work functions but maybe we can hang out this
weekend, that he would call me. He never called me.
I then ran into him a couple weeks later, he was very friendly
and invited me to hang out with him and our friends who were
having a brunch cocktail party on a Sat. Again, I didn't want
to make myself too available so I left it at a maybe. I showed
up, we flirted, made eye contact and after a couple drinks
we were dancing and all over each other. We then parted from
our social circle and he took me out to dinner. During dinner
I made a false comment that I wasn't looking for a serious
relationship and I just wanted to be casual and free. Afterwards
he invited me to come back to his place, which case I did and
we were intimate. The next morning, it wasn't too awkward however
when we parted I was really nervous I just said a good bye
with a hug and he just said I'll talk to you later.
He never called me afterwards. I text him 4 days later that
I had a great time and it would be nice to see him again soon
and asked him what his plans were that weekend. He text me
right back and said he had fun too, but he had a friend visiting
from out of town and he would call me soon for sure. I ran
into him that weekend and he did indeed have a visitor and
he acted pretty normal but neither of us said anything about
getting together. He still hasn't called me now.
This whole time he has not called me on his own, although
he responds right away when I contact him but doesn't set a
date. Maybe he's not that into me or he's not emotionally available?
He told me he has been single for 2 years from a serious 3
1/2 year relationship with a bad breakup. There's been some
miscommunication between us, but for the most part if a guy
is interested he would make the effort to call and set a date
with a girl right? Should I just drop it and let it go?
------------------- Hello!
Hey! Great job on becoming the booty-call! If that was your
goal, you played it just right. Good going!
Oh, wait. What's that you're saying? You didn't want to be
the booty-call, you wanted more? Oh, sorry. That's too bad.
Game over.
Where in
the hell did you learn all this ridiculous misdirection from?
Do you honestly think that lying about
your interests,
saying "no" when you mean "yes", not being
available when he wants to meet you is anything other than
stupidity?
Well, obviously
not. You seem to think this is good "relationship
building". You, my dear are sadly, sadly mistaken.
You're
actually blaming HIM for not being "emotionally
available" and "not that into you"??? Are you
seriously telling me that you don't know that YOU are the sole
and exclusive cause of his behavior toward you???? I'm sitting
here just shaking my head in disbelief.
He DID make the efforts and you ignored them for your game
instead.
You got EXACTLY what you asked for. I just wish you had asked
instead for what you really wanted.
Best regards...
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