Online dating tips and relationship advice from Dr. Neder...
Should
a Woman Ask a Guy Out?
I keep reading that if a man is interested he will ask you
out (which I think is true to a point). When a guy asks you
out that definitely shows interest, but it is hard for me
to believe that every single guy has the guts to ask out
all the girls he has been interested in.
My question is: Is it okay for a woman to ask a guy out for
a drink or a cup of coffee? And how can you do this without
making yourself look like a desperate bitch?
------------------------------- Hello!
Yes, it's entirely OK for a woman to ask a man out. You'd
be surprised at how many men just don't know how to start things
up with a girl! That's not an excuse by the way - men need
to learn this skill. It's just that many of them don't have
a clue.
Many women are still uncomfortable about asking men out; many
out of fear of rejection, (welcome to a man's world!), many
out of fear of looking desperate and many because they are
attracted only to men that are willing to take the risk of
getting rejected.
The problem with this is that you miss so many great opportunities
to meet really great men! Obviously, not all of them will be
a match for you, but on the other hand, you'll never know about
any of those that you don't spend some time with.
This is the new millennium and thinking that men still don't
want to be asked out by a woman is old-millennium thinking.
Let me assure you - almost every man I've ever talked to actually
LIKES it.
First, very few men will think you're desperate just because
you ask them out. In fact, they'll likely think that you're
NOT desperate because you have options of going and getting
what YOU want (just like we do!) However, if that's still too
much risk for you how about this:
Write your
name and phone number of a piece of paper. Then, walk up
to a guy and say, "Here." Hand him the paper
and then say, "You know, I'd really enjoy having coffee
with you one day. Call me." Then, walk away.
You see, you didn't actually make the approach; you only opened
the door and are now allowing him to walk through it if he's
interested.
One more thing: don't be surprised if it takes him 2, 3 or
even more weeks to call you! Many women assume that if a guy
doesn't just jump on this within a few days that he's not interested.
Instead, everyone is busy and we're not always ready to just
jump when you are.
Best regards...
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Have a love, relationship,
sex or man/woman question? I answer all email. You can write
to me at dwneder@beingman.com
for answers. For more information about my books, "Being
a Man in a Woman's World" (volume I & II), and other
products visit: www.beingaman.com.
Check out the discussion group at: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/beingaman.
Copyright (c) 2004-2011, Dr. Dennis W. Neder
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