Online dating tips and relationship advice from Dr. Neder...
How Can
Women Be Great In Bed?
You explained quite well some ideas on how a man can sexually
turn on a woman. Now tell me...what does a woman need to do
for a man to say, "Wow, She is great in bed"?
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Hey Sister!
That's a great
question! Interestingly, I'm just finishing the chapter in the
new book ("Being a Man in a Woman's World II"), entitled
"Sex!" which discusses sexual proficiency in men.
So, since it's on my mind, (when isn't it?), let me offer this:
Most women believe
that they are pretty good in bed. In fact, while I've had many
sexual partners, very few of them have been really great. Further,
I've talked to a large number of guys with exactly the same
experience. So, why the distance between what the women think,
and the men know?
There are a number
of reasons why:
* Men don't usually
have as much difficulty extracting pleasure out of sex as women
do, and thus aren't as demanding.
* Women don't expect,
(and often aren't expected), to do very much in bed, thus they
don't!
* While women are
focused on the quality of their relationships, they aren't as
focused on the quality or their sexual skills.
* Men don't often
tell women what they want from them.
* Women mistakenly
think that all men want is the orgasm, when in fact; men have
many varied interests in sex
* Men are taught
very early on to focus on the woman rather than themselves.
So, if you were
to distill things down to their most fundamental elements, I
believe these are the things that make women great in bed:
* Enthusiasm -
looking forward to sex; both giving AND receiving.
* Responsibility
- taking responsibility for their own pleasure and getting involved
with it - not putting all the pressure on their men.
* Openness - The
willingness to talk about what she wants, and to ask what he
likes. Then, to really understand what he means and question
what she doesn't.
* Willingness to
experiment with new things.
* Availability
- Being available for sex whenever, and wherever.
* Involvement -
Willingness to do some of the work! Don't make us do it all
- get involved happily and voluntarily.
Some final points
are in order:
* Obviously, different
men want different things, but in general, most men enjoy oral
sex. Learning to give good oral sex is a duty, not a luxury!
* Be willing to
tell us what you like, and what you don't. We're not mind readers,
but we DO want to know what curls your toes.
* If we don't know,
show us! Let's work together to discover what works for you.
We'll do the same thing in return.
* If you're absolutely
against something we want to do, we'll understand, but just
not being sure isn't the same as being dead set against, so
be open to new ideas.
* Tell us your
fantasies. We want to know what makes you tingle deep down in
your depths.
* Tell us your
limits. We love, and respect you. We don't want to do anything
to hurt you!
* But, trust us
too. We're probably more experienced sexually than you are!
Take advantage of it!
* Don't be shy
- we're all adults here. We want to see, touch, taste and feel
your body - every part of it.
I hope that helps
shed some light on this!
Best regards...
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Have a love, relationship,
sex or man/woman question? I answer all email. You can write
to me at dwneder@beingman.com
for answers. For more information about my books, "Being
a Man in a Woman's World" (volume I & II), and other
products visit: www.beingaman.com.
Check out the discussion group at: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/beingaman.
Copyright (c) 2004-2011,
Dr. Dennis W. Neder
All rights reserved.
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