KissMeGoodnight
eLearning Series:
How To Tell A Great Relationship
From A Totally Unhealthy One
Top
10
Essentials For A Healthy, Happy Relationship
For a healthy,
happy relationship, here are the top 10 basic essentials
for reference. They are in alphabetical order only, not order
of importance.
Acceptance
Don’t try to change someone. This is a must.
If a person really wants to change, that person will need
to be motivated and take action. Period. Also regarding
acceptance, accept limitations. He is not Superman; you
are not Wonder woman. No one is perfect; so do not expect
perfection. Accept the little flaws that come with each
person. You accept theirs; they accept yours. That’s life!
Bonding
Bonding with another person generally does take
time. Communicate – talk, listen, share the good and the
bad, ask questions, compliment instead of nag or insult.
In short be a friend; make a friend. That is healthy. If
this bonding is lacking, it may mean professional help
is needed (like a counselor or therapist) or it may be
time to move on to healthier relationships.
Communication
Be open to the other person. Check judgmental
attitudes at the door. And give chances. Be fair, flexible
and friendly. If and when things get out of hand and it
is your fault, apologize and ask forgiveness and move on.
Similarly, be acceptable to apologies and grant forgiveness,
too. Life is too short to stay focused on the negative
too long. No need to deny it; face it, deal with it and
move on past it to improve and strengthen your relationships.
Dependable
Be a friend; i.e. be dependable. Things happen
from time to time and cancellations are a part of life.
But on the whole, if you say you’ll do something, do it.
Take responsibility for your own actions.
Expectations
Movies, romance novels and television shows
often portray life, especially human relationships, very
differently than it is in the real world – this is no secret.
How many people really always look like movie stars, have
zero health ailments, endless income without hardly ever
going to work, fabulous cars and homes, friends and family
who totally adore them and come to their beckon call, no
long-term problems because they all end so quickly, etc.?
And who can battle serious issues like one person having
an affair with someone else, and wrap the whole storyline
up in two hours? Get real. Expect a little less than the
media portray and learn more about humans by joining the
real world scenario.
Flexible
Keep a little mystery in the relationship. Juggle
your schedule and invite the other person to a surprise
picnic or walk at a local public park area.
Goals
People usually have some goals together over
time. Develop some together. Toss what no longer works,
what you outgrew or what may no longer seem important or
is finished. And then inherit or create new goals. Working
toward a common cause like saving for an annual vacation
or a new garden area can help people grow together.
Health
Take care of your own health and encourage others,
too. Even in this day and age of cable television with
movies and the Internet available 24 / 7, it’s still amazing
the number of people out there who can’t “Just say no”
to unhealthy behaviors like smoking and drug abuse. Don’t
be afraid to share your healthy views and encourage healthy
choices and living.
Intimacy
Closeness with a person takes time to develop.
And there’s more to intimacy than physical contact. Intimacy
can mean a hug during a tough time, a smile of encouragement
in the face of adversity and compassion when you least
feel like giving. Don’t abuse or take advantage or the
other person. And don’t let yourself be abused or taken
advantage of. Intimacy takes commitment and sharing.
Just say
no
You don’t always
have to be voiceless or agree with someone in a relationship.
Be able to say, “No” and be an individual, too.
 
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