KissMeGoodnight Article Series: Infidelity & Cheating
Is My Partner Cheating On Me?

Top 3 Ways NOT To Catch Your Spouse Cheating

If you're reading this article, you've probably already read several how-to's about how to identify a cheating spouse. But you should equally pay attention to a few things you shouldn't do, as well.

If you can manage to avoid these three behaviors - following your spouse all over town, demanding that his or her friends give you information, and accusing him or her of having an affair before you've collected enough information - then you'll stand a much better chance of turning things to your favor in the end.

1. Follow your spouse all over town.

If you indiscriminately follow your spouse all over town, even if you think you're being selective about it, you're only too likely to give yourself away. Even if you're good at hiding from your partner, somebody else might see you.

This is especially dangerous when you suspect your spouse is cheating but you don't know with whom. There's a good chance that the other person knows you and might make you out. It's also possible that your might be seen by your partner's friends or family, who could unwittingly tip them off!

2. Demand that his or her friends or co-workers tell you what's going on.

Demanding anything from your mate's friends or co-workers - especially something that puts them in a very awkward situation - is not likely to ingratiate them to you and can make your job all that more difficult. Plus, they're likely to tip off your spouse.

If you feel you absolutely must talk to one of your spouse's friends or co-workers about this, be careful who you choose. Keep in mind that the person you ask may feel it in their best interests to tell you that your husband, wife, or significant other is having an affair when in fact they are not. After all, this "friend" of your partner may have designs on your partner - or you!

3. Act as though you KNOW they are cheating, and accuse them, in hopes that they'll finally give up and admit it.

Confronting someone about their infidelity is a tactic you use when you've had enough and you either want them to either work things out with you or get a divorce. But it is NOT an information-gathering tactic!

This is only going to let your spouse know that you are scoping them out to see what's going on - and let them know to be more careful in how they sneak around. It might even tip them off to the fact that they'll need a lawyer soon, destroying they leverage you could have if you confronted them once you had proper evidence.

Worst of all, your spouse might actually not be cheating. You could end up wrecking or, at the very least, severely wounding your relationship if you use accusal as an information-gathering tactic.

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by KissMeGoodnight.com : 2009

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