KissMeGoodnight
Article Series: Infidelity & Cheating
Is My Partner Cheating On Me?
3
Reasons Not To Confront A Cheating Spouse Until You've Gathered
Evidence First
You
shouldn't accuse your spouse of cheating on you until you
have enough information that you feel sure
they are cheating on you - preferably with some kind of
hard evidence.
In
fact, you probably shouldn't even ask if they are cheating
on you, unless you've already found enough
evidence to convince
yourself that they are! Here are the 3 reasons why you shouldn't
bring up the subject to your spouse until after you've got
enough evidence or information to "make your case":
1.
They'll know to do a better job of hiding their cheating. As
Napoleon Bonaparte once said, "Never stop your enemy
while he is making a mistake." Don't confront them as
a way of collecting information. Just let them keep on making
one mistake after another while you use software and/or tried
and true information-gathering techniques to determine what
they're up to.
Confront
them before you do this, and your adulterous significant
other is only likely to get sneakier with his or her affair.
Confront him or her with the right information on your side,
and he or she is going to be a lot more likely to give in and
admit what they've been doing.
2.
They'll be more able to (wrongly) convince you you're wrong. Your spouse may be cheating but since you don't have enough
hard evidence, they may be able to convince you they are not.
After all, it's always easy to convince of us something when
we want to believe that something. And who doesn't want to
believe, really, that their spouse has actually been faithful?
Especially when you have been going through the trauma and
heartbreak of believing you have a cheating spouse.
Learn to watch for the signs, the inconsistencies - maybe
even get a little hard evidence - and you'll be harder to
talk into believing a lie. Your spouse will see this, and
it will affect how they talk to you. You're not nearly as
likely to be lied to - again - if you come into the conversation
with full confidence that you know exactly what you're talking
about.
3.
Once you've learned what to look for, you may find out
they're not actually cheating at all! Things
that might look
suspicious - telephone calls at odd hours, strange websites
left on the computer, too many nights late home from work lately
- can sometimes actually be "red herrings".
Before you pass final judgment on your significant other,
make sure you've used tested methods to collect the kind of
information you need. Do this, and you may even find out that
those phone calls, web sites, and late days at work actually
were harmless.
But if you neglect to gather your information in an efficient
and reliable manner, you run the risk of tipping off your cheating
spouse, letting an adulterous partner con you into a false
sense of security, or even ruining a perfectly good relationship
by jumping to conclusions!
# # # # #
by KissMeGoodnight.com
: 2010
>
Home > Infidelity & Affairs:
Main Page
|
