KissMeGoodnight
Article Series: Nice Guy Dating
I Just Want a Great Woman, Dammit!
Asking
Her Out: Don’t Ask for a Date
You’re thinking, “If I don’t ask for a date,
how am I going to get one?” It’s not that you shouldn’t ask
for a date, it’s that you should consider other ways
of getting a date than just walking up to her and saying, “Would you like
to go out on a date with me?”
You don’t have to use that old school technique anymore. Besides,
she may not think of you as a potential date right off the
bat, but after hanging out with you and getting to know you,
she may.
By then, you don’t have to go through the formal process of
asking her out – it will be more like evolving from a nice
friendship into a dating relationship. You can ask for a date
without sounding like a dork, or work your way into a dating
relationship naturally and casually.
First, if you’ve known her for awhile, possibly through work
or church or going to the gym or whatever, then you’ve probably
already had some casual conversations with her and she already
thinks of you as a friend.
She might already feel very comfortable hanging out with you
after work for a bite to eat, or going to see a movie that
you’re both looking forward to. (“Hey, I’ve been thinking about
seeing that movie too, do you want to join me?”).
This gives you an opportunity to start things out on a friendly
basis. Don’t worry that she’ll always look at you as a friend.
She might, but then again, after you’ve hung out a bit and
she’s had a chance to enjoy getting to know you and seeing
what you have in common, she may be attracted to you in more
than a friendly way. So, if you’re already acquaintances or
sort of friends, you can use that for a start.
If you aren’t friends yet, you can either work on establishing
a friendship and build into a dating relationship from there,
or you can ask her out in a way that doesn’t make you uncomfortable
if you’re not sure she sees you like that.
If you know her well enough to strike up a conversation, you
can work your way into talking about things you both like to
do and then ask if she wants to join you for that activity.
If you’re both baseball fans, you can tell her you have a
couple tickets and if she wants to come along she’s welcome
to. This way, you’re telling her that you think she’d have
fun joining you, and she’ll probably take the bait.
You can also try something like mentioning that you’re really
looking forward to going kayaking as soon as the weather breaks.
When she mentions that she’s always thought kayaking sounds
fun, but she’s never done it, offer to take her and give her
a beginner’s lesson.
There are lots of ways to ask someone out without getting
all formal about it, which puts pressure on you and the woman.
If you’re already friends, just ask her to join you for fun
activities and let her learn to appreciate how much fun you
are to be with.
If you don’t know her well yet, try one of the other tactics
and keep things very light and casual – no pressure. It will
work better, and you both will feel more comfortable. Many
nice guys are afraid of starting out as friends because they’ve
been given the “just friends” speech before. But all solid
relationships are built on friendships, so don’t be afraid
to take the first step on a “just friends” basis and watch
it progress into something more. Click here to learn what goes on inside a woman's head. It's a man's guide to the female mind. It's my KissMeGoodnight recommendation.
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by KissMeGoodnight.com
: 2008
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