KissMeGoodnight
Article Series: Nice Guy Dating
I Just Want a Great Woman, Dammit!
Confidence
Is Everything In The World Of Dating
In the world of dating, as everywhere else,
confidence is everything. Your confident (not cocky or arrogant)
attitude will be key in attracting dates and meeting people.
If you feel like you have little self-confidence or issues
with self-esteem, you’re probably shaking your head right now
and thinking that if confidence is what’s going to make or
break your dating life, then you’re already in trouble.
True confidence is cultivated through trying new things, whether
you fail or not. You will eventually learn and succeed - confidence
is not gained from doing nothing. Maybe you think you’ve got
nothing to offer compared to some guys.
So you’re not Brad Pitt – big deal. You need to capitalize
on what you’ve got going for yourself and get over comparing
yourself to others. It’s likely that the women you date aren’t
going to be Angelina Jolie or Jennifer Aniston, either.
Confidence means not comparing yourself to someone else, but
seeing your strengths and making the most of them. You have
to look at yourself and discover your own best qualities so
that you can capitalize on them.
Here are some good ways to boost your self-confidence:
Spend
some time honestly taking stock of what’s good about you.
A
warning here: if you use this time to pick yourself apart
and find everything wrong with yourself, you’re on the
wrong track.
Instead,
take a break from putting yourself down and find some good
points about you. Examples might
be your great
sense of
humor, expressive eyes, excellent physical condition,
great smile, intelligence, ability to cook a killer meal,
or
financial stability.
Don’t
just look at your physical self – think about personality
traits, the hobbies you enjoy
and are especially good
at, or your ability to make people feel at ease around
you.
Make
a list of all the things that are cool about you – nothing
is too small or ridiculous – these are the
things
that make
you different and worthy of dates – you can build
confidence around these things. If you still can’t think
of what
your best characteristics and talents are, ask your
friends and loved ones.
Remember
that if the women you date are intelligent and nice, they’re
going to realize
that you’re not
perfect and neither
are they. What if she doesn’t like every single
thing about
you?
This
doesn’t mean anything. If she likes enough things about you,
your imperfections will be overlooked.
This goes both
ways and it’s just the way dating works. If she’s
looking for complete perfection in a man, you
don’t want her
anyway – no
one is going to be able to really make her happy
– not even Brad Pitt.
Project
confidence.
Confidence
is projected first by body language and then by how you speak
to her.
If you’re
looking
relaxed and comfortable (but not slovenly)
you’ll project an air of confidence. This means standing
or sitting
straight, but not being too rigid. A smile and eye contact are very important. Shifting positions
every few seconds, not making eye contact, slouching and seeming
distracted will make her think you’re not interested or that
you have something to hide.
Giving her a list of all of the things you don’t like about
yourself is the kiss of death, so don’t do it. Mumbling is
a bad idea, too. Instead, you can convey confidence when speaking
by speaking clearly and positively. You don’t have to be a
smiling goon, but spreading doom and gloom isn’t going to do
anything for you, either.
Becoming more confident will require you to take stock of
your good qualities and the realization that no one is perfect,
meaning you can stop worrying about it. Confidence is one of
the most important keys to finding dates and eventually landing
Mrs. Right. If you have to practice being confident, then do
it – fake it ‘til you make it, as they say.
Click here to learn what goes on inside a woman's head. It's a man's guide to the female mind. It's my KissMeGoodnight recommendation.
# # # # #
by KissMeGoodnight.com
: 2008
|
