KissMeGoodnight
Article Series: Nice Guy Dating
I Just Want a Great Woman, Dammit!
What
If I’m Not a Good Conversationalist On Dates?
Conversation
is an art. It’s especially important
when you’re trying to get to know a date and impress her. Some
people can make conversation very easily and others aren’t
quite as skilled for various reasons.
Everyone can learn to be a good conversationalist, though.
The key is to know a few tricks, employ them, and let the conversation
propel itself.
- Know
what’s going on in the world. You don’t have to be
an expert at everything, but you should be fairly well
read
when it comes to current events. When people are just
getting to know each other, current events are often an
important way
to start into conversations. These may lead to discussions
about each other’s personal philosophies and thoughts,
and that’s good because you’re learning about each other.
Before
a date, and preferably each day, take a good look at
the top news stories.
- Know
the basic “get-to-know-you” ways of starting or keeping
a conversation going. These are hobbies, pets,
family, job, college or military service, recent vacations and
other
innocuous
subjects that anyone can talk about. You can ask her
about her experiences and also talk to her about yours.
- Lulls
in the conversation are not the end of the world. However,
unless you’re looking into each other’s eyes drunk
with love,
lulls probably shouldn’t last terribly long. A good
way to fix this is to ask her about herself. Don’t ask
questions that
she can answer with a yes or a no. Instead, say this:
“So, Sara. You said that you volunteer building homes
for Habitats
for Humanity. What was your favorite project so far?”
It’s possible that she could come up with a real short
answer to
this, but it’s more likely that because you’ve asked
her about something that’s important to her, she’ll give
you a longer
answer that’s likely to spawn more conversation.
- Don’t
just talk about yourself. See that she gets time to share
her story. If you monopolize the conversation,
she’s
probably not going to be as impressed as you had
hoped.
- Keep
things positive. A date conversation isn’t a good time
for you to tell her about how much
you despise
your job and
that your boss is the King of Jerks. It’s also
not a great time to describe your battle with
athlete’s foot. But if you
want to tell her how much fun you had on your
last vacation or a funny story about the last neighborhood
barbecue, that
will work.
- Don’t
argue. If you find out that she’s on one side of the political
fence, and you’re on
the
other, it’s
necessary for
you both to be respectful. If you can have
a nice conversation about your differences that’s
great,
but when it comes
to sensitive subjects such as politics, religion
or anything else that’s
touchy, tread lightly and don’t insult her.
- It’s
okay to inject humor as long as it’s not at your date’s
expense or just cruel or
distasteful.
- It’s
okay to give compliments, as long as they aren’t sappy
or scary. Telling her
that
she has
a great laugh
is cool. Telling
her that she smells good enough to eat
will alarm her, and telling her that you could
listen to
her laugh
for the rest
of your life is overboard.
Conversation is necessary for getting to know someone, so
it’s pretty important to have the basics down. Just remember
to stay positive and focus on her. It’ll be easy to keep the
conversation going if you ask lots of questions and are a good
listener. Click here to learn what goes on inside a woman's head. It's a man's guide to the female mind. It's my KissMeGoodnight recommendation.
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by KissMeGoodnight.com
: 2008
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