KissMeGoodnight
Article Series: Nice Guy Dating
I Just Want a Great Woman, Dammit!
Love:
Do Opposites Really Attract?
Do opposites really attract? Yes
and no. You’ve
heard that in love relationships, opposites do attract, and
that’s probably true. People who are different than us (in
temperament especially) fascinate us. But a relationship with
opposites can be tumultuous, too.
When we talk about opposites attracting, we’re not talking
about you (a nice guy) being attracted to a bad girl, although
that can certainly happen. You might find a bad girl attractive
because she has a devil-may-care attitude, seems very mysterious
or has a very naughty streak.
That’s fine, but you have to ask yourself if you really want
someone who’s that far on the spectrum of behaviors and beliefs
as you. As exciting as that might seem, the combination of
you and a bad girl is most likely doomed.
So, back to the question “Do opposites really attract?” If
you end up with someone who is very, very different from you,
you’re probably not going to be happy in the long run. But
if you choose someone who is very much the same, it will probably
be the same story because you’ll both become bored.
You have to have enough differences in your personalities,
interests, temperaments, and desires to keep things exciting
and balanced, but not so many differences that it causes a
lot of grief.
Look for a girl who’s similar to you when it comes to your
core values and beliefs, such as opinions about having children.
If you have comparable views about spirituality, politics and
so forth, this helps, but it’s not a prerequisite as long as
it doesn’t cause arguments that are insurmountable.
Personality-wise, if you’re very quiet and reserved, a more
outgoing personality might compliment yours - as long as you
don’t annoy each other too much. Likewise, if she’s a bit daring
(does she have a tattoo on her shoulder?), and you would like
to be a bit more daring, she might bring that quality out in
you.
What
about interests? You should definitely share some interests
because in the long run, these are the things that create bonds.
You don’t have to love everything she does or vice versa, but
there should be some overlap.
And you can learn new things from each other this way. You
may actually find that you like the ballet (sure, it’s a long
shot), and she may find that she loves hockey. Balance is the
key here.
You can’t have someone just like you and you can’t have someone
who is your polar opposite. Either way, you’ll both end up
tired of each other and very frustrated. Instead, see where
the differences, similarities and overlaps are.
Can you tolerate your differences and even learn something
new? Are your similarities significant enough to create lasting
bonds? This is your answer. Find a great girl who’s like you,
but at the same time isn’t. That’s where your perfect match
lies. Click here to learn what goes on inside a woman's head. It's a man's guide to the female mind. It's my KissMeGoodnight recommendation.
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by KissMeGoodnight.com
: 2008
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