KissMeGoodnight
Article Series: Nice Guy Dating
I Just Want a Great Woman, Dammit!
How
Do I Flirt Without Making a Fool of Myself?
Flirting is both an art and a science. When
done well, it’s fun and serves as a path to dating. Flirting
is less about coming up with catchy lines and more about using
words and body language paired with a sincere interest in the
other person (the flirtee, if you will).
With some practice, you’ll find that you can flirt without
feeling embarrassed. Flirting is always playful and
fun. It
often has a vague sexual undertone, which is fine, but you
have to be careful not to let it get out of hand, especially
with a woman you don’t know well or you’re not in a dating
relationship with.
You should never let sex be the basis of your flirtations.
The prelude to flirting is almost always a glance
and a smile, which leads to conversation. If you catch a woman’s eye, and
she gives you a smile, it’s fine to strike up a conversation
to see if it leads to mutual flirtation.
Flirting can happen when you’re engaged in conversation and
you and she are able to share an “inside” joke, or a quick
brush of a hand on a forearm, or a smile. Maybe it will involve
a sincere compliment such as, “I don’t know how you do it,
but you always brighten up a room!”
With any luck, she’ll take that as a hint to stop and talk
for a few minutes. Body language - such as holding a gaze,
leaning in, a touch on the arm, or a coy nod from across the
room - can all be interpreted by either side as flirting.
Flirting can happen from afar, too, such as when you exchange
glances during a business meeting. A quick raise of the eyebrow
and a smile can say a lot. Some things to be cautious about:
Not all smiles, shared jokes and laughter is flirting, and
you’re going to have to discern what is and what isn’t.
This might seem tough, but it is possible to learn who’s flirting
and who’s just sharing a laugh with a friend. There are intangibles
that come with flirting and that’s where your intuition has
to come into play.
If you don’t think you have intuition – you’re wrong. It’s
not only women who are intuitive. Intuition is the same as
a gut feeling. That’s all it is. If she’s looking at you from
across the room and smiling, your gut will probably have something
to say about whether she’s smiling at you because she likes
you or because you just finished telling the funniest joke
anyone’s ever heard. Try to become more aware of your gut instinct.
Another
caution: It can be easy to go overboard when flirting.
Things are going well and you’re on a roll. That’s no reason
to make up stories about yourself that you won’t be able to
back up, so be honest.
Don’t just talk about yourself, but listen to what she’s saying
– actually pay attention. It will help you keep the conversation
going if you’re listening and expressing sincere interest.
If you’re still confused about flirting, practice with women
that you aren’t intimidated by. A little practice flirt with
a female friend doesn’t mean you have to ask her out. Just
get some practice giving compliments and smiles with someone
who doesn’t intimidate you.
And remember, flirting is only one element of a conversation.
It’s not easy or even desirable to have a long conversation
filled with nothing but your best efforts at flirting. It has
to give way to real talk, and then it becomes a natural part
of conversation that’s thrown in once in awhile for some added
fun.
Click here to learn what goes on inside a woman's head. It's a man's guide to the female mind. It's my KissMeGoodnight recommendation.
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by KissMeGoodnight.com
: 2008
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