KissMeGoodnight
Article Series: Nice Guy Dating
I Just Want a Great Woman, Dammit!
How
Women Spot a “Just Friends” Guy
Women
can spot a “guy friend” at 100 yards, and you don’t want
to be thrown in the friend bin - yet again! Certainly, good
friend characteristics are similar to good boyfriend characteristics.
These are: honesty, loyalty, respect, “being there” for her,
attentiveness and reliability.
Here’s the thing – those are also characteristics of a good
dog. So, what you need is to have those, plus boyfriend
characteristics that add to what you’re offering. You can overdo it with all
those wonderful traits and end up seeming, again, like a trusted
friend, but nothing else.
Let’s look at how
women decide what makes a good friend, and
what makes a good boyfriend. We’ve already talked about what
we’ll now refer to as “dog traits.” That’s not meant to downplay
the value of those characteristics at all.
They’re extremely valuable in life. But we need to find out
what you must add (or even take away) to get on the potential
boyfriend list. One the one hand, a woman doesn’t necessarily
want a guy who has had a long list of romances and seems to
move from one woman to the next as if there’s a production
line.
On the other hand, if she knows you’ve been single forever,
she’ll take that as a huge warning sign in neon. But what if
you have been single forever? This might be a bit underhanded,
and honesty is a very good thing, but you might want to find
a way to keep from having that particular truth advertised
without lying about it.
You can say that it’s been awhile. You can say that you took
some time after your last break-up to find out what was really
important in life. You can say that while you do want to share
your life with someone, you felt it was important to take time
to be alone after your last break-up.
But telling a woman you’ve never had a date will make you
sound desperate, and you’ll most likely end up on the good
friend list. Here’s another thing that will get you on the
best friends forever list, but will ban you from the boyfriends
list: sharing your own “must-have” list for the woman of your
dreams.
If you care about ever getting a quality date, or a wife,
keep your list to yourself because whoever you end up with
is most likely not going to have all those things, and she’s
not going to be happy knowing that while you and she are having
dinner, you’re going through your checklist to size up her
shortcomings.
Women
want to be accepted for who they are. Yes, there are
always things that you would like to be different about her.
There are things she’d change about you, too. Women aren’t
without lists. But smart daters keeps it to themselves.
We’ve already talked a little about desperation. There’s no
place for it in dating and romance. Sometimes, it’s hard not
to feel desperate, but you’re going to have to put that aside.
If you ask a woman out and she refuses, accept it and move
on. Don’t ask her why and don’t keep bugging her. Be gracious
about the refusal and start looking for someone else to ask
out.
If you pester and demand to know why, you’re going to look
desperate. If you just move on, you’re doing yourself a huge
favor. She may even find you suddenly a bit more attractive
if you don’t get all devastated about her rejection.
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KissMeGoodnight.com
: 2008
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