KissMeGoodnight
Article Series: Nice Guy Dating
I Just Want a Great Woman, Dammit!
How
To Untangle Mixed Signals From Women
You’ve been on a couple of dates with a girl
you really like. You thought everything was going great, and
suddenly she seems to have lost interest. What’s going on?
In the midst of your disappointment, you need to find out what
went wrong, keeping in mind that this might not even be your
fault (although it might).
Let’s take time to look at mixed signals and to figure out
what they might mean. If she seemed to sincerely like you in
the beginning and then lost interest, it’s most likely because
she got bored, annoyed or overwhelmed.
Boredom and being annoyed are often triggered by the same
things and can be closely related, although not always. If
you’re constantly talking only about yourself and never asking
about her, never letting her have any input on the date, or
are rude and negative, she will get bored or annoyed or both.
If you’re smothering her with compliments and not giving her
any room to breathe, she could get overwhelmed. Everyone, male
and female likes compliments and likes attention. But too much
of a good thing is still too much.
If you’re smothering her by clinging to her, fawning over
her, calling her several times a day or worse, acting like
she belongs to you, you’re asking for trouble, and she’s probably
going to cut you loose.
It’s important to reach a balance between showing her that
you like her (maybe a lot), and leaving her alone to miss you
and to have a bit of breathing space. Don’t go overboard with
attentiveness. If you sense this is happening, give her some
breathing room.
It could also be possible that she
misinterpreted your intentions in the beginning. In this case, you might have been sending
mixed signals. Did she think that the two of you were developing
a friendship, while you were hoping to develop a love relationship?
It’s possible that depending on how the two of you started
out, she might have thought that you were just friends and
that going to the baseball game together, or a movie was just
something you were doing as buddies.
Then when you moved in for a goodnight kiss or tried to hold
her hand, she might have suddenly realized that you wanted
to be more than friends. If she wasn’t prepared for that, or
isn’t interested in that, she might back off without offering
an explanation (although she should).
The area of interpreting one’s intentions from the signals
they give (or don’t) is a difficult one. However, if you’re
closely paying attention to what you’re doing and the signals
that you’re sending, you stand a much better chance of not
mis-communicating or misunderstanding what’s going on.
It is certainly possible that after you’ve gone out a few
times, she might just decide that she’s not interested. It
would be great if she just told you that, but sometimes that
doesn’t happen.
If you find yourself in this situation, take time to consider
how you were handling the dating relationship and try to put
yourself in her shoes. It may shed some light on her mixed
signals. Click here to learn what goes on inside a woman's head. It's a man's guide to the female mind. It's my KissMeGoodnight recommendation.
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by KissMeGoodnight.com
: 2008
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