KissMeGoodnight Article Series: Nice Guy Dating
I Just Want a Great Woman, Dammit!

Other Men Give Nice Guys a Bad Reputation

It’s sad, but true. There are a lot of guys out there who aren’t looking for a life partner or a wife – they’re looking to get a woman in bed, nail her ten ways to Sunday and put another notch on their bedposts. And women are leery of this.

Most women assume first that any man that they meet or go out with is more interested in sex than finding out anything substantial and meaningful about her. Now truly, nice guys are interested in sex, too. Let’s not be obtuse here.

Sex is an important part of life and intimate partnership - even for women. But most women prefer to get to know someone before ripping their clothes off and jumping into bed.

Many men do too, if the truth were told (especially if the man is looking for a meaningful relationship). And it’s rare that a man will engage in a long-term relationship with a woman who so easily went to bed with them on day 1.

So, the stereotypical player, whether 20 years old or 60 years old, is giving all you other guys a bad reputation and making women want to stay home cuddled up with a book and a glass of wine.

You’ve seen the websites, read the articles and maybe even bought the books – “How to Pick Up Women at Clubs,” “Become an Expert Seducer,” or “How to Get Your Own Harem.”

“Okay, that sounds good,” you thought for a minute. Maybe you would like to have the advantage of being the world’s biggest player - maybe that’s how you will find the girl of your dreams!

Do you really want your wife to be the kind of woman who’s easily picked up in bars? The girl who walks into a club in that bright, slutty, "please everybody notice me now" outfit? How long will it be before she dumps your ass for the next guy? The sex may be great for a night or two (so wear protection), but after that, the lust wears off and you pray she isn’t pregnant or hasn’t given you some sexually transmitted disease.

If you’re a nice guy, this probably isn’t the girl for you. The guys who act like this are making nice girls everywhere run screaming in the other direction, and unfortunately, they’re assuming that all males act like that – kind of how you might assume all women like bad boys, right?

It’s up to you to turn that stereotype around. If you have the right information and social skills, you can. You won’t use it to pick up a hundred women, but to gain the trust of a single woman who you’d like to date and to hopefully find a life partner, leaving the players still struggling to find Mrs. Right when they’re in their elder years.

Don’t let the rest of your gender wreck your chances. You don’t have to be subject to the “all men are dogs” mindset that many women have. Women are still hopeful that they’ll meet someone wonderful to share their life with. That guy can be you.

If you’re a nice guy having trouble finding a woman to bond with and share a life with, don’t give up just yet. You may be missing some pieces of the puzzle, or you may need to hone your skills - whether it’s searching skills or getting out of your comfort zone (yes, sometimes dating and building a relationship requires that), but there’s no reason that you can’t do it. You can stay a nice, decent person and still date and find a great, loving relationship with a perfect woman.

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KissMeGoodnight.com : 2008

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